An open letter to Kwame Brown from Hector the Pup

 
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Hector the Pup
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 10:44 pm    Post subject: An open letter to Kwame Brown from Hector the Pup

I won't wax as eloquent as one of the finest bassists ever, but here goes...

Let's keep it short. I only have two things to say.

1) Dunk. It's okay to do it. There are no rules preventing you from doing so. If you have the ball and you're a couple of feet from the hoop, give it a shot. I know you have stress in your life and from what I have seen, this is a great way to release that stress. Scream while dunking if you feel it would further that therapy. Don't worry. Players do it all the time. For further incentive, if you do this enough times, you will get on ESPN and people on Laker message boards will even make compilation videos of your dunks with some really cool music playing in the background.

2) Pregame meals to avoid: Anything fried, buttered popcorn, ribs, pizza... basically any greasy food that you eat with your hands. This has nothing to do with your weight, which appears to be just fine. I'm just trying to find reasons why the ball slips out of your hands so damn many times. Are receiver gloves legal in the NBA? You may want to look into it.

That's about it.

Best regards,

HTP
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sodapoppenski
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 10:46 pm    Post subject:

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wolfpaclaker
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 10:56 pm    Post subject:

Kwame just needs to stop getting put in scoring positions.

Believe it or not - It's been proven with Ben Wallace, Dennis Rodman and Reggie Evans - that you can be a good offensive team with basically 4 offensive threats.

The Lakers just need to tell Kwame the following.

Unless you are WIDE OPEN and you can see that you can DUNK the ball - do not even try taking a shot.

Set picks.
Position yourself for boards (Especially on O)
Play defense

That's it.

Do that, and Kwame is valuable. Make him play to his strengths. Try to make him an offensive player and you piss off fans, the team and probably the flow of the offense.

I honestly believe Kwame would be better off just not shooting. As would the offense - if he was just dedicated to crashing the boards and setting picks on Offense.

Take for example - Andrew Bynum. What does he do? Set picks. Get Offensive boards. Try to bring some energy. And his game is even more raw than Kwame's. Yet he's playing the right way ...
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sodapoppenski
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 10:58 pm    Post subject:

I was glad to see Drew get some more minutes tonight.

Ever since about 20 games in when I was projecting out his 35-min stats
and pruning about his rebounds and blocks, I've wanted to see him for
10-15mpg.

With Mihm out I think that should be the case even more.

We're not winning a championship this year, lets season the guy a bit so
in the next couple seasons if a window opens, he's ready to chip in.
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AllorNothing
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 10:59 pm    Post subject:

The problem is that we only have one offensive threat on this team.
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waterman40
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 11:03 pm    Post subject:

AllorNothing wrote:
The problem is that we only have one offensive threat on this team.


There are actually several "threats" to our offense!
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rwongega
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 11:30 pm    Post subject: Re: An open letter to Kwame Brown from Hector the Pup

Hector the Pup wrote:
I won't wax as eloquent as one of the finest bassists ever, but here goes...

Let's keep it short. I only have two things to say.

1) Dunk. It's okay to do it. There are no rules preventing you from doing so. If you have the ball and you're a couple of feet from the hoop, give it a shot. I know you have stress in your life and from what I have seen, this is a great way to release that stress. Scream while dunking if you feel it would further that therapy. Don't worry. Players do it all the time. For further incentive, if you do this enough times, you will get on ESPN and people on Laker message boards will even make compilation videos of your dunks with some really cool music playing in the background.

2) Pregame meals to avoid: Anything fried, buttered popcorn, ribs, pizza... basically any greasy food that you eat with your hands. This has nothing to do with your weight, which appears to be just fine. I'm just trying to find reasons why the ball slips out of your hands so damn many times. Are receiver gloves legal in the NBA? You may want to look into it.

That's about it.

Best regards,

HTP


Maybe he should get sweaty palm surgery. Or some transparent clear glue. He should work on getting a midrange jumper. If Cook can learn to shoot threes and Ben Wallace can learn to shoot a 10-15 footer, Kwame can learn to shoot a midrange.
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DancingBarry
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 12:40 am    Post subject:

P.S. Kwame, please write the following sentence 1,000 times:

"I catch the ball, then I dunk the ball."
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Fan0Bynum17
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 12:54 am    Post subject:

kwame will never be an offensive player, but he doesn't seem to want to give up on being a star. if he applied himself, he could be a ben wallace.
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ocho
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 12:59 am    Post subject:

dropping simple passes out of bounds at this stage of competition is unacceptable.
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Coca James
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 2:38 am    Post subject:

The reason why I believe Kwame cant shoot layups is that he is TOO athletic and TOO strong. No one has ever taught him how to properly manage his strength, so layups dont hit rim..also, it would be an unfair advantage for him to just plow over everone :roll:
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ElginBaylor
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 5:47 am    Post subject: Re: An open letter to Kwame Brown from Hector the Pup

rwongega wrote:
Hector the Pup wrote:
I won't wax as eloquent as one of the finest bassists ever, but here goes...

Let's keep it short. I only have two things to say.

1) Dunk. It's okay to do it. There are no rules preventing you from doing so. If you have the ball and you're a couple of feet from the hoop, give it a shot. I know you have stress in your life and from what I have seen, this is a great way to release that stress. Scream while dunking if you feel it would further that therapy. Don't worry. Players do it all the time. For further incentive, if you do this enough times, you will get on ESPN and people on Laker message boards will even make compilation videos of your dunks with some really cool music playing in the background.

2) Pregame meals to avoid: Anything fried, buttered popcorn, ribs, pizza... basically any greasy food that you eat with your hands. This has nothing to do with your weight, which appears to be just fine. I'm just trying to find reasons why the ball slips out of your hands so damn many times. Are receiver gloves legal in the NBA? You may want to look into it.

That's about it.

Best regards,

HTP


Maybe he should get sweaty palm surgery. Or some transparent clear glue. He should work on getting a midrange jumper. If Cook can learn to shoot threes and Ben Wallace can learn to shoot a 10-15 footer, Kwame can learn to shoot a midrange.


I'd bet that the post-it people could come up with something
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orwell
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 5:50 am    Post subject: Re: An open letter to Kwame Brown from Hector the Pup

Hector the Pup wrote:
1) Dunk. It's okay to do it. There are no rules preventing you from doing so. If you have the ball and you're a couple of feet from the hoop, give it a shot. I know you have stress in your life and from what I have seen, this is a great way to release that stress. Scream while dunking if you feel it would further that therapy. Don't worry. Players do it all the time. For further incentive, if you do this enough times, you will get on ESPN and people on Laker message boards will even make compilation videos of your dunks with some really cool music playing in the background.

He must be too afraid to brake a finger nail or something -- must be a metro-sexual thing. :roll:
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 7:17 am    Post subject:

As much as I hate suggesting this, maybe he should listen to some of Shaq's old crappy CDs.

"Do you want me to pass it?"

"Nooo!"

"Do you want me to shoot it?"

"Nooo!"

"Do you want me to slam?!"
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Money$hot!
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 8:22 am    Post subject:

DancingBarry wrote:
P.S. Kwame, please write the following sentence 1,000 times:

"I catch the ball, then I dunk the ball."

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Sage_10
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 9:33 am    Post subject:

encina1 wrote:
As much as I hate suggesting this, maybe he should listen to some of Shaq's old crappy CDs.

"Do you want me to pass it?"

"Nooo!"

"Do you want me to shoot it?"

"Nooo!"

"Do you want me to slam?!"


Oh God no! Leave bad enough alone.
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Sage_10
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 9:37 am    Post subject:

By the way MoneyShot! where did you get your avatar? That thing is the funniest thing I've ever seen.
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Sage_10
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 4:32 pm    Post subject:

Sage_10 wrote:
By the way MoneyShot! where did you get your avatar? That thing is the funniest thing I've ever seen.
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koolruningz
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 6:30 pm    Post subject:

It seems strange that Kwame drops simple passes yet catches difficult ones like the behind the back pass from Kobe against Houston. That was a tough catch yet he caught it and dunked in one motion. It must drive Phil and Kobe to dispear when they see that and in the next game he is fumbling easy passes out of bounds.
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