Joined: 04 Dec 2008 Posts: 1454 Location: East Los Angeles, CA
Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 8:06 am Post subject: Splitting holidays with your significant other
for people that are married or in serious relationships, how do you split holidays between your family and your s.o.'s family? i ask because my GF and i got in a minor argument about thanksgiving last night.
on thanksgiving, we usually just spend a few hours with my family earlier in the day, and show up a little late to her family's and spend the rest of the night there. Christmas eve is spent with my family and Christmas day with her. new years, we either go out or spend with her family.
Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 8:12 am Post subject: Re: Splitting holidays with your significant other
sickside323 wrote:
for people that are married or in serious relationships, how do you split holidays between your family and your s.o.'s family? i ask because my GF and i got in a minor argument about thanksgiving last night.
on thanksgiving, we usually just spend a few hours with my family earlier in the day, and show up a little late to her family's and spend the rest of the night there. Christmas eve is spent with my family and Christmas day with her. new years, we either go out or spend with her family.
does anyone do separate holidays?
Usually rotate the two major holidays; either Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with her's or the reverse. But they live in different states, so we could never do both on the same day.
Either way, the holidays are always a time for arguments, so just enjoy the food and get drunk.
Joined: 03 Aug 2003 Posts: 2189 Location: In my skin
Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 8:40 am Post subject: Re: Splitting holidays with your significant other
sickside323 wrote:
for people that are married or in serious relationships, how do you split holidays between your family and your s.o.'s family? i ask because my GF and i got in a minor argument about thanksgiving last night.
on thanksgiving, we usually just spend a few hours with my family earlier in the day, and show up a little late to her family's and spend the rest of the night there. Christmas eve is spent with my family and Christmas day with her. new years, we either go out or spend with her family.
does anyone do separate holidays?
This is pretty much how we do ours and it's worked for 10 years. What was your minor argument about?
Joined: 04 Dec 2008 Posts: 1454 Location: East Los Angeles, CA
Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 9:11 am Post subject: Re: Splitting holidays with your significant other
cinimod wrote:
This is pretty much how we do ours and it's worked for 10 years. What was your minor argument about?
her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer right before thanksgiving last year so she was in the hospital last thanksgiving. my GF wants to cut the time with my family short and be there on time with her family. this year is a little more special to her, i get that. but in 2011, my grandma (who lived with us my whole life and essentially raised me while my mom worked) was in the hospital dying from cancer on thanksgiving. i still managed to voluntarily show up to her family's house that year. i practically had to drag her to my family's house last year. now if i would have tried to cut her family's time short the year after my family spent thanksgiving in the hospital, i know it would have been a huge problem. her mom is very manipulative when it comes to "spending time with the family" and lays major guilt trips on my GF whenever she's not there for things, and then plays dumb about it. it's extremely selfish, and it was a big problem when we first started dating. am i being unreasonable here?
Since moving out, we've spent Thanksgiving at home. Usually invite my family over. My wife's not too hot on going to her family's house anymore because there seems to be drama every time and her dad gets so overwhelmed with making dinner, he gets very short and they'res just too many people they invite. At our house, it's a nice, quiet dinner.
Christmas, we agree to go to her parents house. They only live 10 minutes away. My parents are separated and live about 50 miles away so, they usually visit right before or after Christmas to see the kids. I actually like going to the in-laws for x-mas. I play a little music on the geetar while they're opening up presents.
When we were still dating, we split the time. I would go to my families for x-mas then, visit her the next day. But now that we have a house and a family of our own, we do things together. _________________ Thank you, Kobe. We love you.
Joined: 04 Dec 2008 Posts: 1454 Location: East Los Angeles, CA
Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 12:21 pm Post subject:
frijolero01 wrote:
Since moving out, we've spent Thanksgiving at home. Usually invite my family over. My wife's not too hot on going to her family's house anymore because there seems to be drama every time and her dad gets so overwhelmed with making dinner, he gets very short and they'res just too many people they invite. At our house, it's a nice, quiet dinner.
This is why we just went out on new years for 4 years straight. she has family members that get out of control when they drink too much so I decided i didn't want to spend it there anymore. last year was the first time since then that we spent it there again.
Is there a reason why your two families couldn't spend the holiday together? Sounds like you guys are close enough and if you and your Gf have been together for a while and are moving towards marriage, then you're all practically family anyways. If your house or apartment is big enough, maybe try holding Thanksgiving at your place instead? The problem with that, of course, is you'd be on the hook for the costs and labor.
Joined: 04 Dec 2008 Posts: 1454 Location: East Los Angeles, CA
Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 3:11 pm Post subject:
mhan00 wrote:
Is there a reason why your two families couldn't spend the holiday together? Sounds like you guys are close enough and if you and your Gf have been together for a while and are moving towards marriage, then you're all practically family anyways. If your house or apartment is big enough, maybe try holding Thanksgiving at your place instead? The problem with that, of course, is you'd be on the hook for the costs and labor.
well, we don't live together. also, it's not just our immediate families that get together on each side. we're talking aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. so that would be like 35-40 people lol.
I don't usual get trouble with this. Christmas or Thanksgiving, we both want to spend those time with our families. We usually do like this: we can both spend time with our own families (I'm not married yet), or we can visit other's family alternatively; for example, if on Christmas, your GF is with you and your family, then New Year would be exchange, you would be with your GF and her family.
Last edited by Nancy12 on Wed Nov 26, 2014 6:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
Joined: 14 Apr 2001 Posts: 144462 Location: The Gold Coast
Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:02 pm Post subject:
sickside323 wrote:
mhan00 wrote:
Is there a reason why your two families couldn't spend the holiday together? Sounds like you guys are close enough and if you and your Gf have been together for a while and are moving towards marriage, then you're all practically family anyways. If your house or apartment is big enough, maybe try holding Thanksgiving at your place instead? The problem with that, of course, is you'd be on the hook for the costs and labor.
well, we don't live together. also, it's not just our immediate families that get together on each side. we're talking aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. so that would be like 35-40 people lol.
My wife and I host both famalies at Thanksgiving and we usually have 20-30. _________________ RIP mom. 11-21-1933 to 6-14-2023.
My wife's family lives 8 hours away (thank you jesus). One year we'll celebrate thanksgiving with her family and christmas with mine. We alternate every year. Honestly though, especially after the 10th year, we don't give a (bleep) anymore.
Joined: 23 Jun 2005 Posts: 6054 Location: My own little piece of reality
Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2014 10:28 pm Post subject:
DaMuleRules wrote:
Why would this even be an issue with someone who is a girlfriend?
This is the kind of tension and disfunction that should only come with marriage.
I needed a laugh, thank you. _________________ “There is always light if only we're brave enough to see it, if only we're brave enough to be it.” --Amanda Gorman
Joined: 23 Apr 2008 Posts: 1266 Location: City of Angels
Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2014 10:44 am Post subject:
My wife (been married for just under 10 months) and I try to split the day. This Thanksgiving we are going to her parents for a late lunch in Orange County. Then we will head to LA County to see my side of the family. This is also what we did last year before we got married. It's worked out.
For Christmas my family traditionally got together on Christmas Eve, or now that everyone is busy and most in the medical field, some night close to Christmas. The wife's family traditionally has Christmas breakfast together and spends the day together. So that works out well too. _________________ We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire... Give us the tools and we will finish the job.
- Winston Churchill
man, I have been dealing with this since 1998 when we got married.
we used to split during thanksgiving, she would go to her family and I would go to mine.
the last 5 years , we try to make it to both places, we first stop by her family's and after we'll go to my Mom's. Our families are way different so getting both families under the same roof would not work. Her parents house is about a 20 minute drive from my moms.
its a pain in the Ars to be honest. _________________ LAKER FAN 4-LIFE!!!
Joined: 31 Oct 2001 Posts: 4844 Location: Suckramento
Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2014 8:39 pm Post subject:
We stay home at our house. _________________ "Kobe, Kobe, Kobe and some more Kobe, with a sprinkling of Kobe and a huge fat scoop of double Kobe with Kobe sprinkles and Kobe sauce"
----CL member bumrusherer after Kobe's 52 pt. game vs. Dallas 03/02/08
my side of the fam is pretty big so we do a Christmas and Thanksgiving party 1-2 weeks before the real thing as a way for us all to get together and not worry about people having other holiday plans. And then on the actual holiday we are free to do our own thing which for me usually means doing something with my wife's side of the fam.
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
