Justice! 2 pieces of scum do society a favor and take themselves off the streets! _________________ I'm On point, On task, On message, and Off drugs. A Streetwise Smart Bomb, Out of rehab and In denial. Over the Top, On the edge, Under the Radar, and In Control. Behind the 8 ball, Ahead of the Curve and I've got a Love Child who sends me Hate mail.
The driver is now being charged of attempt of murder. So now the victim is the bad guy and the robber is the victim. Just a matter of time before some scumbag lawyer starts suing the SUV driver and we are going to start hearing this guy parents say how a great kid he is and he would never do anything wrong.
Joined: 24 Dec 2007 Posts: 35750 Location: Santa Clarita, CA (Hell) ->>>>>Ithaca, NY -≥≥≥≥≥Berkeley, CA
Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 7:34 am Post subject:
I stopped a robbery the other day at Cornell. Quoting my FB post:
Quote:
So here’s the full story...
I was coming out of Ed Baptist’s book talk in Olin and was on my way to the bathroom right outside of Kroch when I see three people chasing a 5’8 teenager, yelling that he stole a laptop and to chase him. I thought they were just playing tag at first because all four of them were going really slow, but then I realized it was serious and started chasing him too. I yelled for people near the Olin entrance to stop him, but nobody helped because, unlike me, the majority of Cornell’s student population is comprised of selfish weenies. It was also quite weird that a 5'11 skinny Asian male emerged as the most dominant physical presence in that building.
(Sidenote: I still don't understand why he chose to snatch the laptop out of somebody's hands rather than taking one of the many that were unattended, like mine, for instance. What did he expect to happen? For the person to just let him have it?)
I chased the thief outside of the library and, for some inexplicable reason, he chose to run into McGraw clocktower. The other three are winded by that point and way behind, so I face him down one-on-one. I didn’t really know where things were going to go from there, actually. I guess I just sort of assumed that since I was bigger than him that he was just going to give up once I had him cornered. Instead, he said: “Watch out bro; you don’t want to get stabbed.”
Now let me make this clear: This punk is very lucky that I chose not to engage him. Not only was I bigger and stronger than him, but I also had the benefit of having both my hands free whereas he had to focus on holding the laptop. I also happen to be quite adept in close combat. I don’t like the sort of lame foreplay you see in bar fights. My go-to move is an almost unblockable throat crush which instantly leaves the target incapacitated if not dead. Probably not the best idea to risk pissing me off and/or giving me cause to believe I was about to be killed.
But since I am smart and he is stupid, I took the easier route of simply retreating outside of the clocktower and barricading him in. It is, after all, a (bleep) clocktower: There’s nowhere to go but up. I really don’t know what he was thinking. The smart thing to do would have been to drop the laptop and the backpack he was carrying and then threaten to SHOOT me because while I might choose to fight someone with a knife, I’m not going to fight someone with a gun. Then he should have run down Libe Slope to negate my remaining speed advantage should I decide to pursue him anyway (there’s a max speed you can run down on hills without losing your balance) and then flee to the maze that is West Campus. Very viable escape plan right there. Again, I still have no idea what he was going for with the clocktower. It’s just absolutely mindblowing.
But once he was already in the clocktower, his best option would have been to simply push past our barricade and perhaps scare us off with a gun threat if necessary. It’s 4 on 1 by this point, but literally every other bystander is totally (bleep) useless and a crowd starts to form to watch (but not help). So we’ve got numbers, but nothing he couldn’t overcome if crafty/desperate enough. Instead he just retreated up the clocktower. I… I just don’t get it. Did he think he was going to jump from the top floor?
I call the police. The police come, enter the clocktower, and arrest the moron. The police request my presence at the station.
And then I was 20 minutes late to my seminar but had a totally awesome excuse about how I foiled a robbery. I’ve never been one for false modesty… So, yes, I am a hero. Didn’t save a village or anything, but did a hell of a lot more than the pansies in Olin Library.
The sad part is that the idiot is likely not even going to jail-- just being charged with petty theft and third-degree menacing, the latter of which will likely be dropped in the plea bargain. Doesn't hurt that both his parents are well-connected Ithaca politicians... _________________ Damian Lillard shatters Dwight Coward's championship dreams:
Joined: 04 Dec 2008 Posts: 1454 Location: East Los Angeles, CA
Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 8:40 am Post subject:
CandyCanes wrote:
Now let me make this clear: This punk is very lucky that I chose not to engage him. Not only was I bigger and stronger than him, but I also had the benefit of having both my hands free whereas he had to focus on holding the laptop. I also happen to be quite adept in close combat. I don’t like the sort of lame foreplay you see in bar fights. My go-to move is an almost unblockable throat crush which instantly leaves the target incapacitated if not dead. Probably not the best idea to risk pissing me off and/or giving me cause to believe I was about to be killed.
Joined: 24 Dec 2007 Posts: 35750 Location: Santa Clarita, CA (Hell) ->>>>>Ithaca, NY -≥≥≥≥≥Berkeley, CA
Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 10:01 am Post subject:
Don Draper wrote:
Lol you're in Cornell and you run into the clocktower? Sign of a complete dumbass there. There's like a billion worthy escape routes on that campus.
The best part was that he didn't even try to run out. He just ran up to the top and then locked himself in the bathroom, turned off the lights, and pretended nobody was in there when the police came. _________________ Damian Lillard shatters Dwight Coward's championship dreams:
Joined: 24 Dec 2007 Posts: 35750 Location: Santa Clarita, CA (Hell) ->>>>>Ithaca, NY -≥≥≥≥≥Berkeley, CA
Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 10:01 am Post subject:
sickside323 wrote:
CandyCanes wrote:
Now let me make this clear: This punk is very lucky that I chose not to engage him. Not only was I bigger and stronger than him, but I also had the benefit of having both my hands free whereas he had to focus on holding the laptop. I also happen to be quite adept in close combat. I don’t like the sort of lame foreplay you see in bar fights. My go-to move is an almost unblockable throat crush which instantly leaves the target incapacitated if not dead. Probably not the best idea to risk pissing me off and/or giving me cause to believe I was about to be killed.
..............................................
You may laugh, but there's a reason why I have never lost a fight in my entire life. _________________ Damian Lillard shatters Dwight Coward's championship dreams:
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