Funniest/Best Pick-Up Lines
Goto page Previous  1, 2

 
Post new topic    LakersGround.net Forum Index -> The Best Of... Reply to topic
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Free_Kobe
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 13194
Location: @ the beach

PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 7:30 pm    Post subject:

mike_dee23 wrote:
Did you hear that thump? Well, my c##k just hit the floor.

Cook?
Cork?



-Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose. Take off your clothes.
-Hey I see you are wearing clothes. I'm wearing clothes. I didn't realize we had so much in common!
-(Look down at your crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
-I'm invisible. (Really?) Well, can you see me? (Yes.) How about tomorrow night?
-That shirt has got to go... but you can stay!
_________________
♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫


Last edited by Free_Kobe on Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:38 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Daniel0501
Starting Rotation
Starting Rotation


Joined: 14 Jun 2010
Posts: 848

PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 1:54 pm    Post subject:

Excuse me ma'am, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

(she looks confused or says she doesn't know)

Enough to break the ice. I'm (insert name here).
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Conker
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 09 Jun 2010
Posts: 12955
Location: MDC

PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 8:32 am    Post subject:

I like my women just like my coffee. Dark and sweet.
_________________
(❍ᴥ❍ʋ) ʕʘᴥʘʔ (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) (┛◉Д◉)┛( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡) ༼;༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Kobe_Bryant
Starting Rotation
Starting Rotation


Joined: 29 Aug 2005
Posts: 149
Location: Slovenia

PostPosted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 5:22 pm    Post subject:

Haha, some are very good. I should try them sometime
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger Reply with quote
axs
Starting Rotation
Starting Rotation


Joined: 30 Nov 2008
Posts: 818
Location: SF Valley, CA.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:13 am    Post subject:

Daniel0501 wrote:
Excuse me ma'am, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

(she looks confused or says she doesn't know)

Enough to break the ice. I'm (insert name here).

Crazy enough to work.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Axl Rose
Starting Rotation
Starting Rotation


Joined: 01 Dec 2010
Posts: 403

PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 9:01 pm    Post subject:

"Look, I'm not a cool guy or anything, and I haven't been on a date in a year and a half, but I would love to waste your time for a couple of hours." - Larry David
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
JerryMagicKobe
Moderator
Moderator


Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Posts: 13747

PostPosted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 12:39 pm    Post subject:

msb212 wrote:
My classic (now retired) has been used to great success over the years:

(Note that this is not recommended as the opening gambit, but better used a bit later once conversation has been established)

To the TWO girls you are with:

"I think the three of us make a lovely couple..."


Trust me on this. it works

This one made a lasting impression on me and I use it whenever my wife is talking with one of her cute friends at a party. Last time was New Years Eve, and I always enjoy where it takes the conversation.
Thanks msb!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Conker
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 09 Jun 2010
Posts: 12955
Location: MDC

PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 8:39 pm    Post subject:

Daniel0501 wrote:
Excuse me ma'am, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

(she looks confused or says she doesn't know)

Enough to break the ice. I'm (insert name here).


I just heard that from the movie trailer of "Hall Pass."
_________________
(❍ᴥ❍ʋ) ʕʘᴥʘʔ (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) (┛◉Д◉)┛( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡) ༼;༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Free_Kobe
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 13194
Location: @ the beach

PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 6:49 am    Post subject:

Conker wrote:
Daniel0501 wrote:
Excuse me ma'am, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

(she looks confused or says she doesn't know)

Enough to break the ice. I'm (insert name here).


I just heard that from the movie trailer of "Hall Pass."

Yeah! they totally stole your line bro!

Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
_________________
♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Conker
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 09 Jun 2010
Posts: 12955
Location: MDC

PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 9:12 pm    Post subject:

are you an alien? because you just abducted my heart.
_________________
(❍ᴥ❍ʋ) ʕʘᴥʘʔ (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) (┛◉Д◉)┛( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡) ༼;༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
TheRod
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 24 Dec 2003
Posts: 2013

PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2011 2:48 pm    Post subject:

Want to go grab a pizza, then head back to my place and have sex?

(After she slaps you) What? You don't like pizza?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
K-B_2-4
Starting Rotation
Starting Rotation


Joined: 22 Sep 2010
Posts: 939
Location: Los Angeles, CA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 12:53 pm    Post subject: Re: Funniest/Best Pick-Up Lines

LMFAO!!!! ! ! !! ! ! ! !!! ! ! ! !
all of these a GREAT!!! ]

this one... this one takes the cake.!


Free_Kobe wrote:
the funniest one i've heard...

-excuse me, does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Omar Little
Moderator
Moderator


Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 79222
Location: Formerly Known As 24

PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 7:19 pm    Post subject:

TheRod wrote:
Want to go grab a pizza, then head back to my place and have sex?

(After she slaps you) What? You don't like pizza?


Maybe it was just disappointment, since she likes extra pepperoni?
_________________
Tolerance is an agreement to live in peace, not an agreement to be peaceful no matter the conduct of others. A peace treaty is not a suicide pact.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
AllorNothing
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 08 Oct 2001
Posts: 15805

PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 9:27 pm    Post subject:

You look fat.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
K-B_2-4
Starting Rotation
Starting Rotation


Joined: 22 Sep 2010
Posts: 939
Location: Los Angeles, CA

PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:46 am    Post subject:

AllorNothing wrote:
You look fat.


strangely enough,,.. this could work
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Conker
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 09 Jun 2010
Posts: 12955
Location: MDC

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 9:25 pm    Post subject:

Life without you is like a broken pencil... pointless.
_________________
(❍ᴥ❍ʋ) ʕʘᴥʘʔ (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) (┛◉Д◉)┛( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡) ༼;༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Free_Kobe
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 13194
Location: @ the beach

PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 6:19 am    Post subject:

Conker wrote:
Life without you is like a broken pencil... pointless.

You should've went with "boobs without nipples"...
_________________
♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
jamas33
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 28 Jun 2001
Posts: 3369
Location: Lake Minnetonka

PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:11 pm    Post subject:

point at her crotch and say..." Its a beautiful evening and I was wondering if I can have some of that P*$*Y There..." The pointing is the key... It has to be like when you are in a cafeteria line and you point out the food to the cafeteria worker... Its assumed that you are gonna get it so you have to point at her crotch with meaning...
_________________
Want Some Pancakes?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Reply with quote
JerryMagicKobe
Moderator
Moderator


Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Posts: 13747

PostPosted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 2:47 pm    Post subject:

jamas33 wrote:
point at her crotch and say..." Its a beautiful evening and I was wondering if I can have some of that P*$*Y There..." The pointing is the key... It has to be like when you are in a cafeteria line and you point out the food to the cafeteria worker... Its assumed that you are gonna get it so you have to point at her crotch with meaning...

Do I have to point with my finger?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Conker
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 09 Jun 2010
Posts: 12955
Location: MDC

PostPosted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 2:56 pm    Post subject:

JerryMagicKobe wrote:
jamas33 wrote:
point at her crotch and say..." Its a beautiful evening and I was wondering if I can have some of that P*$*Y There..." The pointing is the key... It has to be like when you are in a cafeteria line and you point out the food to the cafeteria worker... Its assumed that you are gonna get it so you have to point at her crotch with meaning...

Do I have to point with my finger?

Or I have to point with The Thing?
_________________
(❍ᴥ❍ʋ) ʕʘᴥʘʔ (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) (┛◉Д◉)┛( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡) ༼;༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
jamas33
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 28 Jun 2001
Posts: 3369
Location: Lake Minnetonka

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 1:18 am    Post subject:


_________________
Want Some Pancakes?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Reply with quote
Free_Kobe
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 13194
Location: @ the beach

PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 1:23 pm    Post subject:

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
_________________
♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Free_Kobe
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 13194
Location: @ the beach

PostPosted: Sat Jun 11, 2016 6:33 am    Post subject:

-Do you work at Starbucks? Because I've bean thinking about you a latte!
-Are you from Calcutta? Because I've been trying to get India pants!
-Are you an atom or molecule? cuz I have my ion you!
-Do you like Raisins? -No? How about a Date?
_________________
♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic    LakersGround.net Forum Index -> The Best Of... All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2
Page 2 of 2
Jump to:  

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum






Graphics by uberzev
© 1995-2010 LakersGround.net. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy. Terms of Use.
LakersGround is an unofficial news source serving the fan community since 1995.
We are in no way associated with the Los Angeles Lakers or the National Basketball Association.


Powered by phpBB