A semi-satirical pessimistic scouting report of our young guns

 
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Don Draper
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Joined: 21 Feb 2008
Posts: 28422
Location: LA --> Bay Area

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 6:56 pm    Post subject: A semi-satirical pessimistic scouting report of our young guns

Bored. All-star break. Mad at our lack of progress. Here's a Sad! post.

D'Bustelo Bustell

- Weak
- Slow
- Lacks heart
- Lacks consistency
- Lacks self awareness
- Turnover machine
- Terrible defender
- Injury prone knees

Branflakes Bongram

- Can't shoot
- Can't dribble
- Can't defend
- Can't rebound
- Can't run the offense
- Can't score
- Can't see

Jordan Clankson

- No brain
- No change of speed
- No shot
- No defense
- Nowhere to go but down
- No ability to run this offense

Rancid Randle

- Even less heart than DLO
- Doesn't seem to enjoy basketball
- Screens? What are those?
- Can't shoot
- Plays defense when he feels like it
- Plays offense when he feels like it
- Still a bull in a china shop
- Thinks he's better than he is

NahNah Nance

- If this guy is our best defender, then lol
- No confidence in shot
- Constantly looks winded
- Doesn't even dunk consistently
- Undersized
- Sets below average screens
- Injury prone



My love of Zubac's ability to set a proper damn screen grants him an exemption from this list.
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