Playground ball. Which type of players do you hate the most?
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8  Next
 
Post new topic    LakersGround.net Forum Index -> Off Topic Reply to topic
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Supa
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 08 Dec 2004
Posts: 2210

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 2:45 am    Post subject:

Minged.....

Last edited by Supa on Sat Jul 14, 2012 9:38 pm; edited 2 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
KingKobe
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 27 Dec 2001
Posts: 3550
Location: UCLA

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 3:09 am    Post subject:

Props to CMB (and others) for this thread.

Here's one I'm not sure anyone mentioned:

The "I don't know how to play basketball" Guy

They come in two types.

Type A: Usually distinguished by their lack of proper apparel, jeans, boots, potential dress shirt, may even be spotted with a key chain. Typically encountered when you just need one more guy for a game, and you, against better judgment, pick him up. Characteristics on the court include awkward two handed shooting stroke, constant travelling and excess pivot movement. In worst cases will dribble out of bounds, grab t-shirts, and slap rebound away like it's volleyball.

Type B: Distinguished by disproportionate upper body strength and excess weight. Typically football players or wrestlers in basketball disguise. Will engage in constant slapping of wrists, fore arm shiver, and half nelson choke holds when beat off the dribble. May even engage in full body tackles. Easily distinguished from other foul artists by their reaction to the actual rules: feigned ignorance and then a passive aggressive comment on other player’s masculinity. Typical sole offensive move is a high velocity fast ball with minimal arc which leaves a trail of bent rims, and cracked back boards.
_________________
*Warning: The preceding post may have contained sarcasm and/or irony.

"We're all surrounded by idiots." - Kobe Bryant


Last edited by KingKobe on Sat Jul 07, 2012 3:15 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
KingKobe
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 27 Dec 2001
Posts: 3550
Location: UCLA

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 3:13 am    Post subject:

Supa wrote:
The guy who refuses to pass the ball unless there's cutters:

This guy usually wants the ball on every possession, and if he can't score himself he'll hold the ball the whole possession yelling "Cut!". He usually can't dribble, break down defenses, or do anything creative. He will just end up jacking up a bad shot if he doesn't find a teammate making the perfect cut to the basket. Expect your offense to constantly stall when playing with this guy. Also, don't be surprised when he doesn't run back on defense.


I hate this guy. "Cut!" "You guys gotta cut more often!" "Look, you just gotta cut!" "JUST CUT TO THE BASKET!!" I say we nick name him: The Barber.

This is almost enivitably leads to several players cutting into an already occupied paint (becasue you know the other team is just standing in there the entire time), while he throws the ball out of bounds, off your knees, or right into to the defender's hands, and then gives you a dirty look.
_________________
*Warning: The preceding post may have contained sarcasm and/or irony.

"We're all surrounded by idiots." - Kobe Bryant
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
golden armor
Starting Rotation
Starting Rotation


Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 845

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 8:19 am    Post subject:

Ronnie Nunn: I Make the Call

RN: "Travel! That's a travel!!"
You: "What?? He only took one step. Are you kidding me?"
RN: "He walked! Respect my call!!"

Next play. Your teammate makes a great deflection and save on the baseline.

RN: "He's out! Out of bounds!"
Teammate: "What are you talking about? I was five feet away? How can you see that from like 30 feet away? Come on!!"

Next play. You set a great screen for your teammate.

RN: "That's a foul! Illegal screen!!"
You: "You're calling offensive fouls now?? You've got to be joking? What's next 3 seconds and loose ball fouls??"

Anyways, RN continues to make horrible calls, as if Donaghy was $50k in the hole from his mob bosses, until his own team starts to even turn against him. Not only does RN make horrible calls, he continues to make a volume of calls that are totally unnecessary and disrupts the flow of the game.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
LakerSanity
Moderator
Moderator


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 33474
Location: Long Beach, California

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 8:40 am    Post subject:

^That guy is pretty rare if only because he's put in his place rather quickly. Even his own teammates will turn on him after the second bad call. No one likes playing with refs because the rule is you don't call a violation unless you are directly involved in the play and, even then, it has to be obvious.
_________________
LakersGround's Terms of Service

Twitter: @DeleteThisPost
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
USCandLakers
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 13 Mar 2008
Posts: 19955

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 8:58 am    Post subject:

The Stank Ass Elephant in the Room.

This is the guy who shows up to the park without having taken a shower in days. Doesn't use deodorant either, or uses deodorant but it's not enough to cover up the fact that he doesn't bathe, ever. This guy will almost always be a heavy sweater. Because of the bad luck in the universe, you're the one that has to cover him.

No one says anything to this guy. It's like you don't want to hurt his feelings. BUT If this guy turns out to also be one of the other types of players in thread, the gloves usually come off. Someone will clown this guy, and you try your hardest to hold in the laughter.


Tall for Nothing

I'm sure this has been covered, but the guy that's taller than everybody but does absolutely nothing a big man should do. This guy comes in two forms:

1. The talented Tall For Nothing - All he does is shoot jumpers. He's allergic to rebounds, allergic to defense and allergic to the paint. He plays like a guard.

2. The goofy Tall for Nothing - The guy who is just tall and is only there because he's the friend with the car and decided to join in this time, "oh what the hell". Seemingly never played basketball in his life. Misses easy layups, fumbles the ball away, is always apologizing and just looks awkward.


The Smoker

I hate this guy with a fiery passion. 100% of the time this is a white guy. Showed up, played one game, then walked over to the grass, sat down, and smoked a cigarette. Smoked like it's nothing for the other 6 guys on the court to be inhaling smoke while their playing.
_________________
A banana is killed every time a terrible thread or post is made. Save the bananas. Stop creating terrible posts!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
minorbravo
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 2108

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 10:53 am    Post subject:

USCandLakers wrote:


The Smoker

I hate this guy with a fiery passion. 100% of the time this is a white guy. Showed up, played one game, then walked over to the grass, sat down, and smoked a cigarette. Smoked like it's nothing for the other 6 guys on the court to be inhaling smoke while their playing.


Its actually pretty common where I play that usually 2 of the guys playing just got high in the corner near the tennis courts and take weed breaks after every game.

They also are the same guys who yell out "5-0" every time a cop shows up in the parking lot


_________________
The only thing standing between me and greatness, is me.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Supa
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 08 Dec 2004
Posts: 2210

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 11:14 am    Post subject:

KingKobe wrote:
Supa wrote:
The guy who refuses to pass the ball unless there's cutters:

This guy usually wants the ball on every possession, and if he can't score himself he'll hold the ball the whole possession yelling "Cut!". He usually can't dribble, break down defenses, or do anything creative. He will just end up jacking up a bad shot if he doesn't find a teammate making the perfect cut to the basket. Expect your offense to constantly stall when playing with this guy. Also, don't be surprised when he doesn't run back on defense.


I hate this guy. "Cut!" "You guys gotta cut more often!" "Look, you just gotta cut!" "JUST CUT TO THE BASKET!!" I say we nick name him: The Barber.

This is almost enivitably leads to several players cutting into an already occupied paint (becasue you know the other team is just standing in there the entire time), while he throws the ball out of bounds, off your knees, or right into to the defender's hands, and then gives you a dirty look.

The Barber... That's perfect!

You're right on point about the bad passing + dirty looks. That's a big quality I missed in the description!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
waterman40
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 17 Jun 2003
Posts: 6280
Location: Central Coast

PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 6:59 pm    Post subject:

The ball-dominant guys were the ones I hated playing with, usually they think they are better player than they really are. They just need to move on to some solitary sport, since they don't understand the concept of team.

I like that "I've got top" analogy - I wonder if some who really hate that guy, are the cherry pickers - never going below the 3 point line on defense, and with one leg always pointed towards the other basket, ready to fast break if there is even a 2% chance they get rewarded. Guys who won't go in the paint or inbound the ball, because it would eman passing it to someone else, LOL.

One of the ways we used to deal with the "I got top" was that defense only called fouls - "I got it" when we fouled someone enough that it effected their shot or made them lose the ball. And if one team didn't call their defensive fouls, it went both ways, no blood no ambulance as Chick used to say, so most of the time it was called pretty even.

How about "the Boondocks guy" where a black player is telling all his brothers "pass the ball nigg..." and your trying to play defense, and at the same time hoping you are not getting singled out for using the epithat.
_________________
LAKERS 2019-2020: NBA World Champions!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
postandpivot
Retired Number
Retired Number


Joined: 16 Sep 2003
Posts: 36822

PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 7:49 am    Post subject:

dawglaker wrote:
i am the over zealous defender on the perimeter and who sticks elbows into your rib or back when you try to post me up/love playing pick n roll or pop /not afraid to hold or grab if you are hesitant to call that/ i camp out 18 foot + till you stop paying attention then i become a 10-15 foot jump shooter and i will cut to the basket if you turn your back on me for a second / first one back on d not an offensive minded player / ill stay quiet offensively until my team needs a couple of buckets to win the game then i hit those quietly or i wont hesitate to pump fake you / or post up a smaller defender ( im 5'10)

things i am not : ball handler
well, dont call foul or get upset. when i hook you on the drop step or push off on any move. i figure you elbow/forearm me. i can elbow, hook, and forearm you. same, same. lol
_________________
LAL4K3RS wrote: He(Kobe) is the white haired kung fu master that you realize is older than dirt but can still kick your arse when in a sitting position drinking a nice herbal tea.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
tony
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 08 May 2010
Posts: 1274

PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 5:11 pm    Post subject:

The guy that yells "Kobe" after all of his shots or the guy that thinks he is Kobe.

While it's nice having Kobe Bryant on the Lakers, it's horrible in pickup games. Sure the guy wants to win but he will always go iso on offense unless he finds a cutter wide open for a layup.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
pissedmeoff1012
Starting Rotation
Starting Rotation


Joined: 25 Jun 2005
Posts: 878

PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 7:17 pm    Post subject:

How about someone who can't play and just want a workout? I fall into that category and I am usually the only one running back on D.
_________________
BUCK FOSTON!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
mhan00
Retired Number
Retired Number


Joined: 13 Apr 2001
Posts: 32025

PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 8:28 pm    Post subject:

pissedmeoff1012 wrote:
How about someone who can't play and just want a workout? I fall into that category and I am usually the only one running back on D.


A guy to play d is always a godsend, even if they have no O. There will be plenty of guys who ISO and don't look to pass anyways. Your teammates will be more than happy to jack it up.

Edit-changed the you're to your. Stupid iPad touchscreen typing made me look bad grammar-wise.


Last edited by mhan00 on Wed Jul 11, 2012 12:29 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message ICQ Number Reply with quote
loslakersss
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 31 Dec 2008
Posts: 11853
Location: LA

PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 8:47 pm    Post subject:

mhan00 wrote:
pissedmeoff1012 wrote:
How about someone who can't play and just want a workout? I fall into that category and I am usually the only one running back on D.


A guy to play d is always a godsend, even if they have no O. There will be plenty of guys who ISO and don't look to pass anyways. You're teammates will be more than happy to jack it up.


For real. So many people play basketball like it's football(only playing one side of the ball).
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
loslakersss
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 31 Dec 2008
Posts: 11853
Location: LA

PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 8:50 pm    Post subject:

One rule I have is I wont get mad at anyone no matter how much I think they suck if they're showing that they're trying to be better and know their limitations. Those Mark Madsen type guys, might not have the skills but they're never gonna be out hustled.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
ctb619
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 14 Dec 2006
Posts: 5287

PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 9:14 pm    Post subject:

The Bruce Bowen - the asshat who walks under you while contesting your jumpshot every. single. time. Oftentimes this is a player who has little to no organized basketball experience. He doesn't know any better because he's lucky to clear 2-3" on his jumpshot and has never ended up writhing in pain on the floor after crashing down on someone's planted foot after a jumpshot. I'm usually patient with this sort and kindly advise him to take care when contesting my shot. The other variation is the player who knows exactly what he is doing, this is the true Bruce Bowen archetype. This is the win-at-all-costs player who knows that by strategically placing his foot directly where you are likely to land, the jumpshooter is preoccupied with preventing a compound fracture and is almost certain to miss the shot. The tension in these games quickly escalates when Bruce is on the floor.
_________________
tttppp wrote:
This forum was founded on unsupportive evidence.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
ElliotTheFan
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 11 Jun 2009
Posts: 2474

PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 7:26 am    Post subject:

I don't think I saw this guy listed but a couple weeks ago I was at Hoopfest (the largest 3 on 3 tournament in the world) and the guy I hate more than all other streetballers combined made an appearance. You see this jerk is a combination of a few different archetypes; he's overly aggressive, talks a ton of crap, gets in people's faces but what makes him special is the trash he brings to the game... and she never shuts up. We call this bro TPT (trailer park trash) and whenever he gets in a scrap that he inevitably started you can always count on his lovely baby's momma to be there cussing up a storm and if you're lucky she'll walk out on the court and get in the middle of it all. We were blessed to have not only Mr TPT but the Mrs as well and to make it as perfect as possible, during the 2nd near fight she walked into the middle of the near melee, cussing like a sailor and yes she was carrying a baby.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
pissedmeoff1012
Starting Rotation
Starting Rotation


Joined: 25 Jun 2005
Posts: 878

PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 1:22 pm    Post subject:

loslakersss wrote:
One rule I have is I wont get mad at anyone no matter how much I think they suck if they're showing that they're trying to be better and know their limitations. Those Mark Madsen type guys, might not have the skills but they're never gonna be out hustled.


I am pretty much this guy...the mark Madsen...but I dont dance like him
_________________
BUCK FOSTON!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
C M B
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 19854
Location: Prarie & Manchester, high above the western sideline

PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 2:47 pm    Post subject:

Australian Blackjack

Sometimes there aren't enough players to run a game but there are 3 or 5 of you on the court who want to get some burn.

"Y'all wanna play 21?"

21 it is, you all agree. But one of these guys is either (bleep) nuts or grew up playing some completely alien game of 21. Some of his rules sound totally improvised and zany, and the perpetrator usually states provisions throughout the course of play that make everyone scratch their heads.

"Are we playing tip-outs?" (Rule where if you tip in someone's missed shot, they go back to 0)

"5 and out or 3 and out?" (Caps the number of freethrows after a made basket. When the F is it ever FIVE and out?!)

"If you go over 21 you go back to 15."

"First freethrow is 4 points, first three pointer is 5 points!"

"The person closest to the ball guards the ball!"

"If you miss this 21 shot you outta the game."
_________________
http://chickhearn.ytmnd.com/

Sister Golden Hair wrote:
LAMAR ODOM is an anagram for ... DOOM ALARM
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Reply with quote
Free_Kobe
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 13197
Location: @ the beach

PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 3:00 pm    Post subject:

I hate the dude that is really good but only plays one game and then leaves... like he's made his appearance and has graced you with his presence and now he's gone.
_________________
♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
loslakersss
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 31 Dec 2008
Posts: 11853
Location: LA

PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 3:46 pm    Post subject:

C M B wrote:
Australian Blackjack

Sometimes there aren't enough players to run a game but there are 3 or 5 of you on the court who want to get some burn.

"Y'all wanna play 21?"

21 it is, you all agree. But one of these guys is either (bleep) nuts or grew up playing some completely alien game of 21. Some of his rules sound totally improvised and zany, and the perpetrator usually states provisions throughout the course of play that make everyone scratch their heads.

"Are we playing tip-outs?" (Rule where if you tip in someone's missed shot, they go back to 0)

"5 and out or 3 and out?" (Caps the number of freethrows after a made basket. When the F is it ever FIVE and out?!)

"If you go over 21 you go back to 15."

"First freethrow is 4 points, first three pointer is 5 points!"

"The person closest to the ball guards the ball!"

"If you miss this 21 shot you outta the game."


I've played "tip-in"(we called it that instead of tip-out) with my cousins and some friends when I was young. It was more about killing time throughout the summer though. I'd never suggest playing it with stranger .
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
loslakersss
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 31 Dec 2008
Posts: 11853
Location: LA

PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 3:51 pm    Post subject:

I was guilty of being the help defender guy today. I felt bad but I told them before we played that I wasn't planning on playing in the first place because I had no explosion cuz of my achilles being sore.

It wasn't that bad though, the guy I was guarding would cut and try to go off screens so I would stick him then but if he just sat at the 3 point line, I'd cheat off him because he was reluctant to shoot. He made 1 outa his first 5 or 6 shots and it was working because he didn't seem to want to make us pay for cheating off him. We came back from down 14-8 to tie it up 14-14, going to 15. Then he made the last shot with me a few feet off him.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
LAkers 4 Life
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 12 Apr 2001
Posts: 14629

PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:29 pm    Post subject:

golden armor wrote:
Ronnie Nunn: I Make the Call

RN: "He's out! Out of bounds!"
Teammate: "What are you talking about? I was five feet away? How can you see that from like 30 feet away? Come on!!"

Next play. You set a great screen for your teammate.

RN: "That's a foul! Illegal screen!!"
You: "You're calling offensive fouls now?? You've got to be joking? What's next 3 seconds and loose ball fouls??"

Anyways, RN continues to make horrible calls


Uggh... hate it when there are those guys, especially when they don't play by the same set of rules. I was playing 3 on 3 half court at the gym and the other team called some bizarre out of bounds rule they invented from a previous game when it was out on them in a tie game. Some weird rule where the team still gains possession if the ball goes off of them and into the other court. Probably because they're a bunch of really old guys that didn't want to run to get the ball. After a brief... "discussion" we just said whatever and let them have the ball.

Of course, they hit the winner on the next possession.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
ctb619
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 14 Dec 2006
Posts: 5287

PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:44 pm    Post subject:

C M B wrote:

"If you miss this 21 shot you outta the game."



_________________
tttppp wrote:
This forum was founded on unsupportive evidence.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
loslakersss
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 31 Dec 2008
Posts: 11853
Location: LA

PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:59 pm    Post subject:

ctb619 wrote:
C M B wrote:

"If you miss this 21 shot you outta the game."


Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic    LakersGround.net Forum Index -> Off Topic All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8  Next
Page 5 of 8
Jump to:  

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum






Graphics by uberzev
© 1995-2018 LakersGround.net. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy. Terms of Use.
LakersGround is an unofficial news source serving the fan community since 1995.
We are in no way associated with the Los Angeles Lakers or the National Basketball Association.


Powered by phpBB