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C M B
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rwongega
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Buck32
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 Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 7:59 am Post subject: |
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Exactly the type of experience with knife and throats the IS is looking for.
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“Properly read, the bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.”
― Isaac Asimov |
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Don Draper
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| Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 8:05 am Post subject: |
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| This dude's still alive? |
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No. 17
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Location: L.A
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| Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 8:08 am Post subject: |
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| Buck32 wrote: | | Exactly the type of experience with knife and throats the IS is looking for. |
Ladies and gentelman, we have a winner! 
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It's winnin' time! |
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DaMuleRules
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| Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 8:31 am Post subject: |
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| A guy who beheads people wants to convert to Islam. Sounds like OJ's going to get recruited again. |
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Lakers_2000
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| Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 9:13 am Post subject: |
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| Joining ISIS is OJ's pathway in elevating from murderer to mass murderer. |
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dries
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| Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 10:03 am Post subject: |
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| Just when i thought islam was at its lowest point.. |
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lakersken80
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| Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 11:23 am Post subject: |
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| Next he'll ask for membership in ISIS. |
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jodeke
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| Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 11:43 am Post subject: |
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OJ's par for the course. Every time someone gets their ass in a sling they turn to God. Don't they know you can't fool him?
OJ is his own worse enemy. When he was acquitted for the murders of Ron and Nicole he should have felt blessed and stopped acting foolishly. Instead he felt entitled and he's paying for Ron and Nicole using something he would have gotten six months for as the instrument.
He should realize the spotlight is no more. He's a waste. I hold no sympathy for him.
My siggy says it all. Your prayers are always answered, sometimes the answer is NO.
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America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. |
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Aussiesuede
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| Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 4:47 pm Post subject: |
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So when muslims go to their heaven cloud and receive their 40 virgins, do the virgins have any say in the matter? If not, there have got to be a lot of girls on the muslim heaven cloud that are shaking in their burkas with this news. 
Can any of our religious friends lend any insight into whether or not heavenly 'relations' are conducted in private? Or is there just one big orgy cloud that you stop by for heavenly pleasures? I'm assuming there is no economic system on the heaven cloud, so how exactly are heavenly pleasures transacted? Must both parties be in agreement, or does the heaven cloud operate on the old school male ownership principle? Without uninhibited access to heavenly pleasures, it would seem that those who had difficulty closing the deal on terra firma would be equally distressed in the afterlife and that would certainly be less than , ahem, 'heavenly'. 
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I'm On point, On task, On message, and Off drugs. A Streetwise Smart Bomb, Out of rehab and In denial. Over the Top, On the edge, Under the Radar, and In Control. Behind the 8 ball, Ahead of the Curve and I've got a Love Child who sends me Hate mail. |
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nickuku
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 12:49 am Post subject: |
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| Aussiesuede wrote: | So when muslims go to their heaven cloud and receive their 40 virgins, do the virgins have any say in the matter? If not, there have got to be a lot of girls on the muslim heaven cloud that are shaking in their burkas with this news.
Can any of our religious friends lend any insight into whether or not heavenly 'relations' are conducted in private? Or is there just one big orgy cloud that you stop by for heavenly pleasures? I'm assuming there is no economic system on the heaven cloud, so how exactly are heavenly pleasures transacted? Must both parties be in agreement, or does the heaven cloud operate on the old school male ownership principle? Without uninhibited access to heavenly pleasures, it would seem that those who had difficulty closing the deal on terra firma would be equally distressed in the afterlife and that would certainly be less than , ahem, 'heavenly'. |
I think its 72. I could be wrong though.
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shnxx
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 1:42 am Post subject: |
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| what a scumbag. |
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shnxx
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 1:43 am Post subject: |
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| Aussiesuede wrote: | So when muslims go to their heaven cloud and receive their 40 virgins, do the virgins have any say in the matter? If not, there have got to be a lot of girls on the muslim heaven cloud that are shaking in their burkas with this news.
Can any of our religious friends lend any insight into whether or not heavenly 'relations' are conducted in private? Or is there just one big orgy cloud that you stop by for heavenly pleasures? I'm assuming there is no economic system on the heaven cloud, so how exactly are heavenly pleasures transacted? Must both parties be in agreement, or does the heaven cloud operate on the old school male ownership principle? Without uninhibited access to heavenly pleasures, it would seem that those who had difficulty closing the deal on terra firma would be equally distressed in the afterlife and that would certainly be less than , ahem, 'heavenly'. |
Come on dude.
you can't make fun of others' religion without knowing the facts.
this is how non-religious people get a bad rep. |
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Buck32
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 5:47 am Post subject: |
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| Aussiesuede wrote: | So when muslims go to their heaven cloud and receive their 40 virgins, do the virgins have any say in the matter? If not, there have got to be a lot of girls on the muslim heaven cloud that are shaking in their burkas with this news.
Can any of our religious friends lend any insight into whether or not heavenly 'relations' are conducted in private? Or is there just one big orgy cloud that you stop by for heavenly pleasures? I'm assuming there is no economic system on the heaven cloud, so how exactly are heavenly pleasures transacted? Must both parties be in agreement, or does the heaven cloud operate on the old school male ownership principle? Without uninhibited access to heavenly pleasures, it would seem that those who had difficulty closing the deal on terra firma would be equally distressed in the afterlife and that would certainly be less than , ahem, 'heavenly'. |
Are the male muslims the only ones who get the virgins? Or muslim women also get virgin men in heaven? How about kid muslim martyrs, do they get older virgins?
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“Properly read, the bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.”
― Isaac Asimov |
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Aussiesuede
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Joined: 27 Jul 2005
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 11:13 am Post subject: |
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| Buck32 wrote: | | Aussiesuede wrote: | So when muslims go to their heaven cloud and receive their 40 virgins, do the virgins have any say in the matter? If not, there have got to be a lot of girls on the muslim heaven cloud that are shaking in their burkas with this news.
Can any of our religious friends lend any insight into whether or not heavenly 'relations' are conducted in private? Or is there just one big orgy cloud that you stop by for heavenly pleasures? I'm assuming there is no economic system on the heaven cloud, so how exactly are heavenly pleasures transacted? Must both parties be in agreement, or does the heaven cloud operate on the old school male ownership principle? Without uninhibited access to heavenly pleasures, it would seem that those who had difficulty closing the deal on terra firma would be equally distressed in the afterlife and that would certainly be less than , ahem, 'heavenly'. |
Are the male muslims the only ones who get the virgins? Or muslim women also get virgin men in heaven? How about kid muslim martyrs, do they get older virgins? |
It would seem that Catholic Nuns would be the Holy Grail once they're cloudside? They'd be the Jenna Jamison's of the hapily ever after.
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I'm On point, On task, On message, and Off drugs. A Streetwise Smart Bomb, Out of rehab and In denial. Over the Top, On the edge, Under the Radar, and In Control. Behind the 8 ball, Ahead of the Curve and I've got a Love Child who sends me Hate mail. |
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Aussiesuede
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 11:19 am Post subject: |
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| shnxx wrote: | | Aussiesuede wrote: | So when muslims go to their heaven cloud and receive their 40 virgins, do the virgins have any say in the matter? If not, there have got to be a lot of girls on the muslim heaven cloud that are shaking in their burkas with this news.
Can any of our religious friends lend any insight into whether or not heavenly 'relations' are conducted in private? Or is there just one big orgy cloud that you stop by for heavenly pleasures? I'm assuming there is no economic system on the heaven cloud, so how exactly are heavenly pleasures transacted? Must both parties be in agreement, or does the heaven cloud operate on the old school male ownership principle? Without uninhibited access to heavenly pleasures, it would seem that those who had difficulty closing the deal on terra firma would be equally distressed in the afterlife and that would certainly be less than , ahem, 'heavenly'. |
Come on dude.
you can't make fun of others' religion without knowing the facts.
this is how non-religious people get a bad rep. |
Facts?
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I'm On point, On task, On message, and Off drugs. A Streetwise Smart Bomb, Out of rehab and In denial. Over the Top, On the edge, Under the Radar, and In Control. Behind the 8 ball, Ahead of the Curve and I've got a Love Child who sends me Hate mail. |
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lakersken80
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Joined: 12 Aug 2009
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 11:32 am Post subject: |
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| shnxx wrote: | | Aussiesuede wrote: | So when muslims go to their heaven cloud and receive their 40 virgins, do the virgins have any say in the matter? If not, there have got to be a lot of girls on the muslim heaven cloud that are shaking in their burkas with this news.
Can any of our religious friends lend any insight into whether or not heavenly 'relations' are conducted in private? Or is there just one big orgy cloud that you stop by for heavenly pleasures? I'm assuming there is no economic system on the heaven cloud, so how exactly are heavenly pleasures transacted? Must both parties be in agreement, or does the heaven cloud operate on the old school male ownership principle? Without uninhibited access to heavenly pleasures, it would seem that those who had difficulty closing the deal on terra firma would be equally distressed in the afterlife and that would certainly be less than , ahem, 'heavenly'. |
Come on dude.
you can't make fun of others' religion without knowing the facts.
this is how non-religious people get a bad rep. |
Pretty much all religions have their ridiculous stories that people today would think would be more akin to fiction than real life. The problem is when people start to kill or suppress people's rights when they don't start living their lives literally to the word is when we start having problems. |
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shnxx
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 1:00 pm Post subject: |
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the number is SEVENTY TWO not 40.
come on.
although you really wonder why 72?
why not 720?
as long as we're keeping the dream alive, why not go totally nuts and say 72 billion?
I mean it's for eternity right?
although what happens if you die old and your reproductive organ fails to function?
will Yahweh/Allah provide one with Cialis?
Wouldn't the girls be just having sex just because they're forced to since you're an old loose skin piece of crap?
What kind of heaven is it if you have to perpetually rape young virgins against their will? |
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KobeBryantCliffordBrown
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 6:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Aussiesuede wrote: | So when muslims go to their heaven cloud and receive their 40 virgins, do the virgins have any say in the matter? If not, there have got to be a lot of girls on the muslim heaven cloud that are shaking in their burkas with this news.
Can any of our religious friends lend any insight into whether or not heavenly 'relations' are conducted in private? Or is there just one big orgy cloud that you stop by for heavenly pleasures? I'm assuming there is no economic system on the heaven cloud, so how exactly are heavenly pleasures transacted? Must both parties be in agreement, or does the heaven cloud operate on the old school male ownership principle? Without uninhibited access to heavenly pleasures, it would seem that those who had difficulty closing the deal on terra firma would be equally distressed in the afterlife and that would certainly be less than , ahem, 'heavenly'. |
Kinda surprised at this coming from you AS.
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“It took many years of vomiting up all the filth I’d been taught about myself, and half-believed, before I was able to walk on the earth as though I had a right to be here.”
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Nudizl_Forshizl
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 7:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Buck32 wrote: | | Aussiesuede wrote: | So when muslims go to their heaven cloud and receive their 40 virgins, do the virgins have any say in the matter? If not, there have got to be a lot of girls on the muslim heaven cloud that are shaking in their burkas with this news.
Can any of our religious friends lend any insight into whether or not heavenly 'relations' are conducted in private? Or is there just one big orgy cloud that you stop by for heavenly pleasures? I'm assuming there is no economic system on the heaven cloud, so how exactly are heavenly pleasures transacted? Must both parties be in agreement, or does the heaven cloud operate on the old school male ownership principle? Without uninhibited access to heavenly pleasures, it would seem that those who had difficulty closing the deal on terra firma would be equally distressed in the afterlife and that would certainly be less than , ahem, 'heavenly'. |
Are the male muslims the only ones who get the virgins? Or muslim women also get virgin men in heaven? How about kid muslim martyrs, do they get older virgins? |
Women get their husbands back - true story.
Totally not mad made. |
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Buck32
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Joined: 30 Apr 2001
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 11:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Nudizl_Forshizl wrote: | | Buck32 wrote: | | Aussiesuede wrote: | So when muslims go to their heaven cloud and receive their 40 virgins, do the virgins have any say in the matter? If not, there have got to be a lot of girls on the muslim heaven cloud that are shaking in their burkas with this news.
Can any of our religious friends lend any insight into whether or not heavenly 'relations' are conducted in private? Or is there just one big orgy cloud that you stop by for heavenly pleasures? I'm assuming there is no economic system on the heaven cloud, so how exactly are heavenly pleasures transacted? Must both parties be in agreement, or does the heaven cloud operate on the old school male ownership principle? Without uninhibited access to heavenly pleasures, it would seem that those who had difficulty closing the deal on terra firma would be equally distressed in the afterlife and that would certainly be less than , ahem, 'heavenly'. |
Are the male muslims the only ones who get the virgins? Or muslim women also get virgin men in heaven? How about kid muslim martyrs, do they get older virgins? |
Women get their husbands back - true story.
Totally not mad made. |
What if she was in an arranged marriage which she never wanted? And a Muslim man can have more wives, so she has to share him? What if he beat and abused her?
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“Properly read, the bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.”
― Isaac Asimov |
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non-player zealot
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Joined: 05 Nov 2007
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 11:58 pm Post subject: |
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| shnxx wrote: | the number is SEVENTY TWO not 40.
come on.
although you really wonder why 72?
why not 720?
as long as we're keeping the dream alive, why not go totally nuts and say 72 billion?
I mean it's for eternity right?
although what happens if you die old and your reproductive organ fails to function?
will Yahweh/Allah provide one with Cialis?
Wouldn't the girls be just having sex just because they're forced to since you're an old loose skin piece of crap?
What kind of heaven is it if you have to perpetually sexual assault young virgins against their will? |
He's gonna be pissed when he finds out none of them are blonde.
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jodeke
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2014 2:45 pm Post subject: |
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How long would this thread stay open if the puns were about Christianity, Judaism, Catholicism?
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Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. |
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shnxx
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2014 3:16 pm Post subject: |
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| jodeke wrote: | | How long would this thread stay open if the puns were about Christianity, Judaism, Catholicism? |
Well those religions aren't exactly (bleep) out mass terrorist groups posting beheading videos on Youtube.
When's the last time you saw a video of a Jew beheading a Pakistani journalist? |
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