Adrian Peterson Indicted for Child Abuse
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next
 
Post new topic    LakersGround.net Forum Index -> Off Topic This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
PLATNUM
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 17 Dec 2002
Posts: 7111
Location: L.A.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 9:07 am    Post subject:

doughboy90650 wrote:
kcxiv wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
kcxiv wrote:
im ok with spanking a kids ass. Sometimes they need it. This time out (bleep) from what i gather from everyone around me doesnt (bleep) work. I also cant say that its just bad parenting, because i know some parents with multiple kids where 1 or 2 are great and one might just be out of freaking control or a few out of control while one is good.

Why should time out make a kid change his ways, because he's staring at a while for 30 min? big deal.


These aren't the only options. But, why do you think spanking is effective? What exactly does that teach a kid, that if you do something wrong physical harm should and will be inflicted upon you?


It taught me. when i got my ass whooped, I learned my lesson, i didnt do it again! lol

I remember my mom got me pretty bad once. I was like 11 though. I punched a hole in the closet door and she got one of them miniblind switches i guess we can call it and got me really freaking good. To this day im 37. i never ever take my anger out at anything that can break. I resort to my punching bag.

Took one time and i learned.


I looked at those little ass welts and said that's it? We are in the wussy ass generation where when you punish your kid, it's go to your room for three hours and that will teach you; or no ps3 for a day type (bleep).

I thank my pops everyday for the legendary ass whippings I got. There weren't many but i remember always taking a nap after them because I was so tired of jumping up and down. In some instances, it did teach me discipline and structure. This is what will happen if you do x, y and z.

Funny thing is the people who tell you you shouldn't get in that kid's ass are the same ones who (1) have no kids but wrote a book on parenting or (2) have a kid running around in the grocery store throwing a tantrum and tell his mom to go F herself. Every time I see that little disrespectful bastard, I wanna snatch him up and take him to the cereal section and kick his ass myself.

I have three kids. Raised them all the same way my parents raised me. Same way their parents raised them. My pops was less like Cliff Huxtable and more like James Evans. His three boys turned out great and so far, I have a my two oldest are in college and I don't even have to spank the youngest one anymore. I just give him that look and it's YES SIR.


+1. Although I'm not sure I would agree that the welts are a good thing. I dont spank my kids anymore either... they just get the look and they already know.
_________________
"Dread it, run from it... destiny arrives all the same."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Aussiesuede
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 27 Jul 2005
Posts: 10964

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 9:16 am    Post subject:

Spanking is what parents who don't have the brain power to outsmart their own kids resort to. Think about it, you've had a few decades head start on em and you can't figure out how to bring them in line with your brain instead of your hand? That's just being lazy. Sit down, take a step back, and figure out how to outsmart em to teach them the desired lesson. Use your experience. You have the advantage if you'd simply take the time. Violence is the lazy man's response.
_________________
I'm On point, On task, On message, and Off drugs. A Streetwise Smart Bomb, Out of rehab and In denial. Over the Top, On the edge, Under the Radar, and In Control. Behind the 8 ball, Ahead of the Curve and I've got a Love Child who sends me Hate mail.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
AllorNothing
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 08 Oct 2001
Posts: 18448

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 9:23 am    Post subject:

interesting study.
although i don't condone spanking, these kids that were spanked a lot might have significant behavioral problems prior to being spanked alot. i wonder if let say the 2500 kids in the tulane study were never spanked at all, if the same percentage holds that are still agressive at age 5.

ChefLinda wrote:
Time Magazine link

Quote:
The Long-Term Effects of Spanking
A multiyear study shows spanking kids makes them more aggressive later on

By Alice Park
Monday, May 03, 2010

Disciplining young children is what parents are supposed to do — most moms and dads have no trouble agreeing with that. But should the punishment include spanking?

As many parents can attest, few disciplinary measures stop a child from misbehaving as quickly as a swift smack or two on the bottom.

But in a new study published in Pediatrics, researchers at Tulane University provide the strongest evidence yet that children's short-term response to spanking may make them act out more in the long run. Of the nearly 2,500 youngsters in the study, those who were spanked more frequently at age 3 were much more likely to be aggressive by age 5.

The study, led by community-health-sciences professor Catherine Taylor, was the first to control for a host of issues affecting the mother, such as depression, alcohol and drug use, spousal abuse and even whether she considered abortion while pregnant with the child. After controlling for all these factors — each of which can contribute to a child's aggression — spanking remained a strong predictor of violent behavior. "The odds of a child being more aggressive at age 5 increased by 50% if he had been spanked more than twice in the month before the study began," says Taylor.

The association remained even after her team accounted for varying levels of natural aggression in children, suggesting, she says, that "it's not just that children who are more aggressive are more likely to be spanked."

Among mothers surveyed in 20 cities when their children were both 3 and 5 years old, nearly half (45.6%) reported not spanking their 3-year-olds in the previous month, 27.9% reported spanking once or twice that month, and 26.5% reported spanking more than twice. As 5-year-olds, the children who had been spanked were more likely than the nonspanked to be defiant, demand immediate satisfaction of their wants and needs, become frustrated easily, have temper tantrums and lash out physically against other people or animals.

The reason for this may be that spanking sets up a loop of bad behavior. Corporal punishment instills fear rather than understanding. Even if children stop tantrums when spanked, that doesn't mean they get why they shouldn't have been acting up in the first place. What's more, spanking sets a bad example, teaching children that aggressive behavior is a solution to their parents' problems.

"There is now some nice hard data that can back up clinicians when they share their caution with parents against using corporal punishment," says Dr. Jayne Singer, clinical director of the child and parent program at Children's Hospital Boston, who was not involved with the Tulane study.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) does not endorse spanking under any circumstance. It's a form of punishment that becomes less effective with repeated use, according to the AAP; it also makes discipline more difficult as the child outgrows it.

Instead of spanking, the AAP recommends time-outs, which typically involve denying the child any interaction, positive or negative, for a specified period of time. These quiet moments force children to calm down and think about their emotions rather than acting on them reflexively. After all, the goal of punishment is to get children to understand not just that they did something wrong but also what motivated them to do it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
doughboy90650
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 15294
Location: Southern California

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 11:41 am    Post subject:

Aussiesuede wrote:
Spanking is what parents who don't have the brain power to outsmart their own kids resort to. Think about it, you've had a few decades head start on em and you can't figure out how to bring them in line with your brain instead of your hand? That's just being lazy. Sit down, take a step back, and figure out how to outsmart em to teach them the desired lesson. Use your experience. You have the advantage if you'd simply take the time. Violence is the lazy man's response.



Totally disagree. I shouldn't have to sit down and come up with a plan to outsmart my kids. I installed the concept in them early (age 1) that you will get dealt with. The problem today is that kids don't fear their parents anymore. Parents are too busy trying to be friends with their kids. Forget that BS. They have enough friends but only two parents. And when their friends come over, I look at them as my own and they even know, even at 19, 20 and 21 years old, I'll kick their asses too. They love me, but they have that fear.

In my situation, my parents have unconditional love for me and my brothers but there was also a fear present. A fear that we knew the consequences if we disrespected or disobeyed. We just had a birthday party for the old man and sat around the table and talk about those legendary asses whipping. Dude was old school and these new school parents who let their kids talk to them however they want is the problem. I back talked a couple times and after a couple pops in the mouth with a wet dishrag (LOL - gangsta), I cut that (bleep) out.

I shouldn't have to outsmart or tell my children five times to take out the trash and that's what I see many of my friends do with their children. They come over to my house and they envy me. Sometimes, I don't even have to say "do your chores" or "wash the dishes"; and when I do have to say it, it's one time. You can't outsmart a 14 year old when you've let him run over you for thirteen years.

And as far as TIMEOUT go, I do that my last kid who is 12 years old. I'll make him stand in the corner with his arms stretched out or over his head, while holding a ten pound weight. No welts, belt marks or cuts. All the damage is being done inside the skin. After five minutes, he's crying and (bleep). LOL. I don't believe in that "Go to your room" BS.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
DaMuleRules
Retired Number
Retired Number


Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 52624
Location: Making a safety stop at 15 feet.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 11:44 am    Post subject:

doughboy90650 wrote:
Aussiesuede wrote:
Spanking is what parents who don't have the brain power to outsmart their own kids resort to. Think about it, you've had a few decades head start on em and you can't figure out how to bring them in line with your brain instead of your hand? That's just being lazy. Sit down, take a step back, and figure out how to outsmart em to teach them the desired lesson. Use your experience. You have the advantage if you'd simply take the time. Violence is the lazy man's response.



Totally disagree. I shouldn't have to sit down and come up with a plan to outsmart my kids. I installed the concept in them early (age 1) that you will get dealt with. The problem today is that kids don't fear their parents anymore. Parents are too busy trying to be friends with their kids. Forget that BS. They have enough friends but only two parents. And when their friends come over, I look at them as my own and they even know, even at 19, 20 and 21 years old, I'll kick their asses too. They love me, but they have that fear.

In my situation, my parents have unconditional love for me and my brothers but there was also a fear present. A fear that we knew the consequences if we disrespected or disobeyed. We just had a birthday party for the old man and sat around the table and talk about those legendary asses whipping. Dude was old school and these new school parents who let their kids talk to them however they want is the problem. I back talked a couple times and after a couple pops in the mouth with a wet dishrag (LOL - gangsta), I cut that (bleep) out.

I shouldn't have to outsmart or tell my children five times to take out the trash and that's what I see many of my friends do with their children. They come over to my house and they envy me. Sometimes, I don't even have to say "do your chores" or "wash the dishes"; and when I do have to say it, it's one time. You can't outsmart a 14 year old when you've let him run over you for thirteen years.

And as far as TIMEOUT go, I do that my last kid who is 12 years old. I'll make him stand in the corner with his arms stretched out or over his head, while holding a ten pound weight. No welts, belt marks or cuts. All the damage is being done inside the skin. After five minutes, he's crying and (bleep). LOL. I don't believe in that "Go to your room" BS.


I'm not sure what's worse. That unhealthy dynamic you describe or the fact that you actually seem proud to say it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
doughboy90650
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 15294
Location: Southern California

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 11:48 am    Post subject:

DaMuleRules wrote:
doughboy90650 wrote:
Aussiesuede wrote:
Spanking is what parents who don't have the brain power to outsmart their own kids resort to. Think about it, you've had a few decades head start on em and you can't figure out how to bring them in line with your brain instead of your hand? That's just being lazy. Sit down, take a step back, and figure out how to outsmart em to teach them the desired lesson. Use your experience. You have the advantage if you'd simply take the time. Violence is the lazy man's response.



Totally disagree. I shouldn't have to sit down and come up with a plan to outsmart my kids. I installed the concept in them early (age 1) that you will get dealt with. The problem today is that kids don't fear their parents anymore. Parents are too busy trying to be friends with their kids. Forget that BS. They have enough friends but only two parents. And when their friends come over, I look at them as my own and they even know, even at 19, 20 and 21 years old, I'll kick their asses too. They love me, but they have that fear.

In my situation, my parents have unconditional love for me and my brothers but there was also a fear present. A fear that we knew the consequences if we disrespected or disobeyed. We just had a birthday party for the old man and sat around the table and talk about those legendary asses whipping. Dude was old school and these new school parents who let their kids talk to them however they want is the problem. I back talked a couple times and after a couple pops in the mouth with a wet dishrag (LOL - gangsta), I cut that (bleep) out.

I shouldn't have to outsmart or tell my children five times to take out the trash and that's what I see many of my friends do with their children. They come over to my house and they envy me. Sometimes, I don't even have to say "do your chores" or "wash the dishes"; and when I do have to say it, it's one time. You can't outsmart a 14 year old when you've let him run over you for thirteen years.

And as far as TIMEOUT go, I do that my last kid who is 12 years old. I'll make him stand in the corner with his arms stretched out or over his head, while holding a ten pound weight. No welts, belt marks or cuts. All the damage is being done inside the skin. After five minutes, he's crying and (bleep). LOL. I don't believe in that "Go to your room" BS.


I'm not sure what's worse. That unhealthy dynamic you describe or the fact that you actually seem proud to say it.



Mule, I'm proud to say I'm an ass kickin' parent. I might go and get a T-shirt made that has that Bernie Mac saying "I'll Kick a Kid's Ass". Hey, social services can come pick his ass up but hey won't tell me how raise my kid in my house.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Wilt
LG Contributor
LG Contributor


Joined: 29 Dec 2002
Posts: 13711

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 11:51 am    Post subject:

DaMuleRules wrote:


I'm not sure what's worse. That unhealthy dynamic you describe or the fact that you actually seem proud to say it.


That's how a family tradition is continued.
_________________
¡Hala Madrid!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
City_Dawg
Retired Number
Retired Number


Joined: 14 Jul 2006
Posts: 46878
Location: Coming soon and striking at your borders.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 12:16 pm    Post subject:

I beat my children because it's the only thing in my life that makes me feel like i'm actually in control.
_________________
*sighs*

!...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Fan0Bynum17
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 30 Nov 2005
Posts: 15436

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 12:17 pm    Post subject:

Wilt wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:


I'm not sure what's worse. That unhealthy dynamic you describe or the fact that you actually seem proud to say it.


That's how a family tradition is continued.


Yup, and the cycle of abuse just keeps trucking along. I kind of want to start a therapy fund for his kids, they're going to need it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
doughboy90650
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 15294
Location: Southern California

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 12:21 pm    Post subject:

Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Wilt wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:


I'm not sure what's worse. That unhealthy dynamic you describe or the fact that you actually seem proud to say it.


That's how a family tradition is continued.


Yup, and the cycle of abuse just keeps trucking along. I kind of want to start a therapy fund for his kids, they're going to need it.


lol ... AP'S or mine? Definitely not mine .... daughter headed to grad school at Ohio State after graduating from Long Beach St. Oldest boy already ahead of schedule. Junior at 19. Long Beach St.

12 year old. Honor roll. Lakeside Middle School, Norwalk. With the discipline, there's plenty of love. With that said, if you're giving out free loot, I won't say no.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
PLATNUM
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 17 Dec 2002
Posts: 7111
Location: L.A.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 12:54 pm    Post subject:

doughboy90650 wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Wilt wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:


I'm not sure what's worse. That unhealthy dynamic you describe or the fact that you actually seem proud to say it.


That's how a family tradition is continued.


Yup, and the cycle of abuse just keeps trucking along. I kind of want to start a therapy fund for his kids, they're going to need it.


lol ... AP'S or mine? Definitely not mine .... daughter headed to grad school at Ohio State after graduating from Long Beach St. Oldest boy already ahead of schedule. Junior at 19. Long Beach St.

12 year old. Honor roll. Lakeside Middle School, Norwalk. With the discipline, there's plenty of love. With that said, if you're giving out free loot, I won't say no.


In my experience.. that d-bag kid that talks back to his parents and acts a fool at the store /restaurant/ classroom is a "time-out" kid. Granted, their are plenty of parents who employ the time out concept with success.

However, I'm not a big fan of creating a "sticker chart" or some other BS behavioral development plan for MY kids. There was always an element of fear when I knew I did something bad and was going to have to face the music. That fear kept me from making a lot of stupid decisions as a teen. Never did drugs and never committed any crimes. Drank my first beer at age 18 and that was probably the worst thing I ever did as a youth.

On the flip side to that, my best friend had laid back parents who tried to "bargain" and reason with him when he misbehaved. Dude ended up getting a girl pregnant at 19 (his younger sister also got pregnant at age 19) and he's been pulled over for DUI twice.

That's of course ONE example and I'm sure it can go the other way... but from my experience a COMBINATION of tactics is best.
_________________
"Dread it, run from it... destiny arrives all the same."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Aussiesuede
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 27 Jul 2005
Posts: 10964

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 12:55 pm    Post subject:

doughboy90650 wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Wilt wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:


I'm not sure what's worse. That unhealthy dynamic you describe or the fact that you actually seem proud to say it.


That's how a family tradition is continued.


Yup, and the cycle of abuse just keeps trucking along. I kind of want to start a therapy fund for his kids, they're going to need it.


lol ... AP'S or mine? Definitely not mine .... daughter headed to grad school at Ohio State after graduating from Long Beach St. Oldest boy already ahead of schedule. Junior at 19. Long Beach St.

12 year old. Honor roll. Lakeside Middle School, Norwalk. With the discipline, there's plenty of love. With that said, if you're giving out free loot, I won't say no.



Harvard University at age 16.

PHD in Mathmatics - University of Michigan at age 22

Asst Professor at UC Berkley at age 25


Proud product of corporal punishment -




































































Ted Kaczynski
_________________
I'm On point, On task, On message, and Off drugs. A Streetwise Smart Bomb, Out of rehab and In denial. Over the Top, On the edge, Under the Radar, and In Control. Behind the 8 ball, Ahead of the Curve and I've got a Love Child who sends me Hate mail.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
PLATNUM
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 17 Dec 2002
Posts: 7111
Location: L.A.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 1:07 pm    Post subject:

Aussiesuede wrote:
doughboy90650 wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Wilt wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:


I'm not sure what's worse. That unhealthy dynamic you describe or the fact that you actually seem proud to say it.


That's how a family tradition is continued.


Yup, and the cycle of abuse just keeps trucking along. I kind of want to start a therapy fund for his kids, they're going to need it.


lol ... AP'S or mine? Definitely not mine .... daughter headed to grad school at Ohio State after graduating from Long Beach St. Oldest boy already ahead of schedule. Junior at 19. Long Beach St.

12 year old. Honor roll. Lakeside Middle School, Norwalk. With the discipline, there's plenty of love. With that said, if you're giving out free loot, I won't say no.



Harvard University at age 16.

PHD in Mathmatics - University of Michigan at age 22

Asst Professor at UC Berkley at age 25


Proud product of corporal punishment -




































































Ted Kaczynski


Come on now. A light spank on the butt and burning your child's arm with a cigarette (or FAR WORSE) are different things. There's some gray area here.
_________________
"Dread it, run from it... destiny arrives all the same."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Fan0Bynum17
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 30 Nov 2005
Posts: 15436

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 1:20 pm    Post subject:

PLATNUM wrote:


Come on now. A light spank on the butt and burning your child's arm with a cigarette (or FAR WORSE) are different things. There's some gray area here.


You're kind of missing the point he made, dude. Which is that academic accomplishment is not the same thing as being mentally healthy.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Aussiesuede
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 27 Jul 2005
Posts: 10964

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 1:39 pm    Post subject:

PLATNUM wrote:
Aussiesuede wrote:
doughboy90650 wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Wilt wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:


I'm not sure what's worse. That unhealthy dynamic you describe or the fact that you actually seem proud to say it.


That's how a family tradition is continued.


Yup, and the cycle of abuse just keeps trucking along. I kind of want to start a therapy fund for his kids, they're going to need it.


lol ... AP'S or mine? Definitely not mine .... daughter headed to grad school at Ohio State after graduating from Long Beach St. Oldest boy already ahead of schedule. Junior at 19. Long Beach St.

12 year old. Honor roll. Lakeside Middle School, Norwalk. With the discipline, there's plenty of love. With that said, if you're giving out free loot, I won't say no.



Harvard University at age 16.

PHD in Mathmatics - University of Michigan at age 22

Asst Professor at UC Berkley at age 25


Proud product of corporal punishment -


Ted Kaczynski


Come on now. A light spank on the butt and burning your child's arm with a cigarette (or FAR WORSE) are different things. There's some gray area here.


Of course there are different degrees of violence. But it's UNDENIABLE that you are teaching your child that violence is sometimes an acceptable response to non-violent situations.

Often when parents are disciplining their children, they get angry. It's only a matter of time before they lose themselves on the self control continuem and take a lite spanking too far due to being po'd at the moment (likely what happened here with AP) Then it's not just the abuse that's at issue. It's the VERY clear message sent to the kid that it's ok to be violent when angry.
_________________
I'm On point, On task, On message, and Off drugs. A Streetwise Smart Bomb, Out of rehab and In denial. Over the Top, On the edge, Under the Radar, and In Control. Behind the 8 ball, Ahead of the Curve and I've got a Love Child who sends me Hate mail.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
doughboy90650
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 15294
Location: Southern California

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 1:40 pm    Post subject:

Aussiesuede wrote:
doughboy90650 wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Wilt wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:


I'm not sure what's worse. That unhealthy dynamic you describe or the fact that you actually seem proud to say it.


That's how a family tradition is continued.


Yup, and the cycle of abuse just keeps trucking along. I kind of want to start a therapy fund for his kids, they're going to need it.


lol ... AP'S or mine? Definitely not mine .... daughter headed to grad school at Ohio State after graduating from Long Beach St. Oldest boy already ahead of schedule. Junior at 19. Long Beach St.

12 year old. Honor roll. Lakeside Middle School, Norwalk. With the discipline, there's plenty of love. With that said, if you're giving out free loot, I won't say no.



Harvard University at age 16.

PHD in Mathmatics - University of Michigan at age 22

Asst Professor at UC Berkley at age 25


Proud product of corporal punishment -




































































Ted Kaczynski


I'm sure I can find plenty of guys who had that timeout system or parent who didn't whip that ass who went crazy. All I'm saying, especially being a black male from South Central, I wouldn't trade in those butt whippins for anything. They saved my life.

I just look at my old neighborhood. All the Double and Triple OG's are coming home from prison. I recently went through to see some old friends and a few of them remembered my face and thanked me for the letters I sent. Every one of them had no discipline or structure. Never got their ass whipped and joined a gang looking for male role models. To a man, every one of them said, I wish I had your father in my house. There's my study. I'm actually apart of that study:

Growing up in the 70s and 80s. Crip Hood. Eight Trey Gangsters. Nearly all the households that had kids with no discipline or structure - dead or in jail.

Renard, age 14 - fourteen slugs to the back. Did whatever he wanted. Mama just let him run wild. She then disciplined the younger boy Shannon. Dude runs campaigns.

Little Jack and DeMall - DeMall just got out after a 26 year bid (he was the one who said I wish I had your father). Little Jack - shot in the face at Jesse Owens Park in front of his girlfriend and baby. Both with no father or discipline.

Big Sean - prospect at third base. Father present but zero discipline, joined a gang. Just got out after 24 years.

Rodney Blake, AKA Big Dumps (loves Chicken and Dumplings) - just got out after 25 year bid for taking part in a drive by, no father or discipline.

Big Skip - Father present. Legendary ass whippings. Basketball Scholarship and graduate from Montana St. Family man today. Doing well.

Derrick and Nate - Big John was their dad. Gave ass whippins. Both boys are alive and run their own businesses.

My house hold - Father present. Raised three family men and three home owners. We had discipline. If he wasn't present, I probably would have been a third generation Crip, hanging out with Monster, Crazy D and Little Monster.

Some may not condone whipping ass. It's your right. Just as it is my right to get in that ass.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
doughboy90650
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 15294
Location: Southern California

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 1:54 pm    Post subject:

PLATNUM wrote:
doughboy90650 wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Wilt wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:


I'm not sure what's worse. That unhealthy dynamic you describe or the fact that you actually seem proud to say it.


That's how a family tradition is continued.


Yup, and the cycle of abuse just keeps trucking along. I kind of want to start a therapy fund for his kids, they're going to need it.


lol ... AP'S or mine? Definitely not mine .... daughter headed to grad school at Ohio State after graduating from Long Beach St. Oldest boy already ahead of schedule. Junior at 19. Long Beach St.

12 year old. Honor roll. Lakeside Middle School, Norwalk. With the discipline, there's plenty of love. With that said, if you're giving out free loot, I won't say no.


In my experience.. that d-bag kid that talks back to his parents and acts a fool at the store /restaurant/ classroom is a "time-out" kid. Granted, their are plenty of parents who employ the time out concept with success.

However, I'm not a big fan of creating a "sticker chart" or some other BS behavioral development plan for MY kids. There was always an element of fear when I knew I did something bad and was going to have to face the music. That fear kept me from making a lot of stupid decisions as a teen. Never did drugs and never committed any crimes. Drank my first beer at age 18 and that was probably the worst thing I ever did as a youth.

On the flip side to that, my best friend had laid back parents who tried to "bargain" and reason with him when he misbehaved. Dude ended up getting a girl pregnant at 19 (his younger sister also got pregnant at age 19) and he's been pulled over for DUI twice.

That's of course ONE example and I'm sure it can go the other way... but from my experience a COMBINATION of tactics is best.


Basically. It was that fear that kept me in line. Pops meant what he said. But the key was moms backed him up. A huge problem is when there's a riff between the parents. That's usually when a kid moves in and causes dissention. He gave plenty of love, was always present at our games but always let us know if you're under his roof, you will abide by his rules. No exceptions. Told me once, "you can sell all the crack you want to. Just don't get caught and get out my house. If you're willing to take that penitentiary chance, then you're stupid as (bleep)"

Eight year old kids shouldn't be dictating anything to parents. I got in my kids asses early. Let them know how it's gonna be and I really haven't had any problems. I tell them to do some thing once, it gets done. I don't believe in that beggin' a kid to do what he's supposed to.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Aussiesuede
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 27 Jul 2005
Posts: 10964

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 1:57 pm    Post subject:

Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
PLATNUM wrote:


Come on now. A light spank on the butt and burning your child's arm with a cigarette (or FAR WORSE) are different things. There's some gray area here.


You're kind of missing the point he made, dude. Which is that academic accomplishment is not the same thing as being mentally healthy.


Yep, and that his kids story is not yet complete. No one yet knows how it's going to end. And it won't be the spanking that determines their success if they're successful, nor their failure if they're not. It's the WHOLE of the parenting they received, along with their own individuality, which will carry the day.

And my statement stands, violence & fear is the lazy way out. Done for the sake of expediency by parents too lazy to invest more time in using their mind to come to better solutions. Once you cross the mental line of having violence be an acceptable solution, then you're just waiting for the proper excuse in your mind to be violent when you choose to - however minor you think the violence is. Because you've been taught all your life - by continous actions, that sometimes violence is OK. Hopefully that child doesn't slap the wrong person on their journey through life. Some folks will react by yelling at em. Some folks will slap them back. And some folks, with violence issues of their own, will use it as an excuse to pummel them to within inches of their life. Or worse, a chosen love with a zero tolerance for violence might use it as an excuse to walk out of their life since you can never trust that a person who finds violence as a sometimes acceptable solution might not resort to it again at some point.
_________________
I'm On point, On task, On message, and Off drugs. A Streetwise Smart Bomb, Out of rehab and In denial. Over the Top, On the edge, Under the Radar, and In Control. Behind the 8 ball, Ahead of the Curve and I've got a Love Child who sends me Hate mail.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
City_Dawg
Retired Number
Retired Number


Joined: 14 Jul 2006
Posts: 46878
Location: Coming soon and striking at your borders.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 2:14 pm    Post subject:

doughboy90650 wrote:
PLATNUM wrote:
doughboy90650 wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Wilt wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:


I'm not sure what's worse. That unhealthy dynamic you describe or the fact that you actually seem proud to say it.


That's how a family tradition is continued.


Yup, and the cycle of abuse just keeps trucking along. I kind of want to start a therapy fund for his kids, they're going to need it.


lol ... AP'S or mine? Definitely not mine .... daughter headed to grad school at Ohio State after graduating from Long Beach St. Oldest boy already ahead of schedule. Junior at 19. Long Beach St.

12 year old. Honor roll. Lakeside Middle School, Norwalk. With the discipline, there's plenty of love. With that said, if you're giving out free loot, I won't say no.


In my experience.. that d-bag kid that talks back to his parents and acts a fool at the store /restaurant/ classroom is a "time-out" kid. Granted, their are plenty of parents who employ the time out concept with success.

However, I'm not a big fan of creating a "sticker chart" or some other BS behavioral development plan for MY kids. There was always an element of fear when I knew I did something bad and was going to have to face the music. That fear kept me from making a lot of stupid decisions as a teen. Never did drugs and never committed any crimes. Drank my first beer at age 18 and that was probably the worst thing I ever did as a youth.

On the flip side to that, my best friend had laid back parents who tried to "bargain" and reason with him when he misbehaved. Dude ended up getting a girl pregnant at 19 (his younger sister also got pregnant at age 19) and he's been pulled over for DUI twice.

That's of course ONE example and I'm sure it can go the other way... but from my experience a COMBINATION of tactics is best.


Basically. It was that fear that kept me in line. Pops meant what he said. But the key was moms backed him up. A huge problem is when there's a riff between the parents. That's usually when a kid moves in and causes dissention. He gave plenty of love, was always present at our games but always let us know if you're under his roof, you will abide by his rules. No exceptions. Told me once, "you can sell all the crack you want to. Just don't get caught and get out my house. If you're willing to take that penitentiary chance, then you're stupid as (bleep)"

Eight year old kids shouldn't be dictating anything to parents. I got in my kids asses early. Let them know how it's gonna be and I really haven't had any problems. I tell them to do some thing once, it gets done. I don't believe in that beggin' a kid to do what he's supposed to.


Didn't you you take a (bleep) on one of your son's beds? Or was that just internet posturing?
_________________
*sighs*

!...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
doughboy90650
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 15294
Location: Southern California

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 2:31 pm    Post subject:

City_Dawg wrote:
doughboy90650 wrote:
PLATNUM wrote:
doughboy90650 wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Wilt wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:


I'm not sure what's worse. That unhealthy dynamic you describe or the fact that you actually seem proud to say it.


That's how a family tradition is continued.


Yup, and the cycle of abuse just keeps trucking along. I kind of want to start a therapy fund for his kids, they're going to need it.


lol ... AP'S or mine? Definitely not mine .... daughter headed to grad school at Ohio State after graduating from Long Beach St. Oldest boy already ahead of schedule. Junior at 19. Long Beach St.

12 year old. Honor roll. Lakeside Middle School, Norwalk. With the discipline, there's plenty of love. With that said, if you're giving out free loot, I won't say no.


In my experience.. that d-bag kid that talks back to his parents and acts a fool at the store /restaurant/ classroom is a "time-out" kid. Granted, their are plenty of parents who employ the time out concept with success.

However, I'm not a big fan of creating a "sticker chart" or some other BS behavioral development plan for MY kids. There was always an element of fear when I knew I did something bad and was going to have to face the music. That fear kept me from making a lot of stupid decisions as a teen. Never did drugs and never committed any crimes. Drank my first beer at age 18 and that was probably the worst thing I ever did as a youth.

On the flip side to that, my best friend had laid back parents who tried to "bargain" and reason with him when he misbehaved. Dude ended up getting a girl pregnant at 19 (his younger sister also got pregnant at age 19) and he's been pulled over for DUI twice.

That's of course ONE example and I'm sure it can go the other way... but from my experience a COMBINATION of tactics is best.


Basically. It was that fear that kept me in line. Pops meant what he said. But the key was moms backed him up. A huge problem is when there's a riff between the parents. That's usually when a kid moves in and causes dissention. He gave plenty of love, was always present at our games but always let us know if you're under his roof, you will abide by his rules. No exceptions. Told me once, "you can sell all the crack you want to. Just don't get caught and get out my house. If you're willing to take that penitentiary chance, then you're stupid as (bleep)"

Eight year old kids shouldn't be dictating anything to parents. I got in my kids asses early. Let them know how it's gonna be and I really haven't had any problems. I tell them to do some thing once, it gets done. I don't believe in that beggin' a kid to do what he's supposed to.


Didn't you you take a (bleep) on one of your son's beds? Or was that just internet posturing?


lol ... you remember that huh ???? His friends loved that and I haven't had any problem of him leaving a floating turd in the toilet. Whatever I did, it worked. Haven't had a problem since.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
PLATNUM
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 17 Dec 2002
Posts: 7111
Location: L.A.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 3:23 pm    Post subject:

Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
PLATNUM wrote:


Come on now. A light spank on the butt and burning your child's arm with a cigarette (or FAR WORSE) are different things. There's some gray area here.


You're kind of missing the point he made, dude. Which is that academic accomplishment is not the same thing as being mentally healthy.


No, I got it. But as it relates to being spanked or put in time-out. It could go either way. I'm sure Justin Bieber never got spanked as a kid. Doesn't mean ALL kids disciplined that way are going to be as awesome as the Biebs.
_________________
"Dread it, run from it... destiny arrives all the same."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
PLATNUM
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 17 Dec 2002
Posts: 7111
Location: L.A.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 3:45 pm    Post subject:

Hey doughboy...
you ever try to "block" the hit and it ends up making Mom/Dad even more mad?? And/or fake like it hurt so they would stop?? LOL... good times.
_________________
"Dread it, run from it... destiny arrives all the same."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Ted
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 3477

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 4:12 pm    Post subject:

ChefLinda wrote:
Time Magazine link

Quote:
The Long-Term Effects of Spanking
A multiyear study shows spanking kids makes them more aggressive later on

By Alice Park
Monday, May 03, 2010

Disciplining young children is what parents are supposed to do — most moms and dads have no trouble agreeing with that. But should the punishment include spanking?

As many parents can attest, few disciplinary measures stop a child from misbehaving as quickly as a swift smack or two on the bottom.

But in a new study published in Pediatrics, researchers at Tulane University provide the strongest evidence yet that children's short-term response to spanking may make them act out more in the long run. Of the nearly 2,500 youngsters in the study, those who were spanked more frequently at age 3 were much more likely to be aggressive by age 5.

The study, led by community-health-sciences professor Catherine Taylor, was the first to control for a host of issues affecting the mother, such as depression, alcohol and drug use, spousal abuse and even whether she considered abortion while pregnant with the child. After controlling for all these factors — each of which can contribute to a child's aggression — spanking remained a strong predictor of violent behavior. "The odds of a child being more aggressive at age 5 increased by 50% if he had been spanked more than twice in the month before the study began," says Taylor.

The association remained even after her team accounted for varying levels of natural aggression in children, suggesting, she says, that "it's not just that children who are more aggressive are more likely to be spanked."

Among mothers surveyed in 20 cities when their children were both 3 and 5 years old, nearly half (45.6%) reported not spanking their 3-year-olds in the previous month, 27.9% reported spanking once or twice that month, and 26.5% reported spanking more than twice. As 5-year-olds, the children who had been spanked were more likely than the nonspanked to be defiant, demand immediate satisfaction of their wants and needs, become frustrated easily, have temper tantrums and lash out physically against other people or animals.

The reason for this may be that spanking sets up a loop of bad behavior. Corporal punishment instills fear rather than understanding. Even if children stop tantrums when spanked, that doesn't mean they get why they shouldn't have been acting up in the first place. What's more, spanking sets a bad example, teaching children that aggressive behavior is a solution to their parents' problems.

"There is now some nice hard data that can back up clinicians when they share their caution with parents against using corporal punishment," says Dr. Jayne Singer, clinical director of the child and parent program at Children's Hospital Boston, who was not involved with the Tulane study.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) does not endorse spanking under any circumstance. It's a form of punishment that becomes less effective with repeated use, according to the AAP; it also makes discipline more difficult as the child outgrows it.

Instead of spanking, the AAP recommends time-outs, which typically involve denying the child any interaction, positive or negative, for a specified period of time. These quiet moments force children to calm down and think about their emotions rather than acting on them reflexively. After all, the goal of punishment is to get children to understand not just that they did something wrong but also what motivated them to do it.


I'd be interested to see if they controlled for things like income level and socioeconomic status. I think that plays a huge role in whether a kid will grow up to be aggressive, the area he grows up in, the environment around him.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
angrypuppy
Retired Number
Retired Number


Joined: 13 Apr 2001
Posts: 32730

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 4:14 pm    Post subject:

And the wussification of America continues...

Whatever happened to the good old days, when we used thumb screws, hot pokers, or timed out the brats in an iron maiden?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
angrypuppy
Retired Number
Retired Number


Joined: 13 Apr 2001
Posts: 32730

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 4:21 pm    Post subject:

doughboy90650 wrote:

Mule, I'm proud to say I'm an ass kickin' parent. I might go and get a T-shirt made that has that Bernie Mac saying "I'll Kick a Kid's Ass". Hey, social services can come pick his ass up but hey won't tell me how raise my kid in my house.




I liked getting spanked too... only now I have to pay someone from craigslist to do it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic    LakersGround.net Forum Index -> Off Topic All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next
Page 4 of 6
Jump to:  

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum






Graphics by uberzev
© 1995-2018 LakersGround.net. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy. Terms of Use.
LakersGround is an unofficial news source serving the fan community since 1995.
We are in no way associated with the Los Angeles Lakers or the National Basketball Association.


Powered by phpBB