Schadenfreude, Lakers style

Dr. Laker · Franchise Player Joined: 12 Apr 2002 Posts: 17104

I've been fairly absent from this board the last 4 seasons - not from a lack of zeal, but increased job responsibilities and a commitment to making my wife less of a "computer widow" have probably limited me to under 100 total posts since 2013.

In any event, my love for the P&G has continued to burn even as their record has plummeted. While there hasn't been much to shout about for the Lakers, there has been plenty to smile about with respect to our foes. This will seem pathetic to some, but this is what has fueled my NBA-related joy of late:

1 - The Houston Effing Rockets.

Ah, the joys of watching Darryl "Prince of Nerds" Morey and his analytics machine crash & burn! The sweet savor of Dwight Howard's tears as the Rox exit in the 1st round for the 2nd time in 3 seasons! The delicious drollery of a locker room going nuclear whilst everyone involved pretends that all is well!

2 - The Accursed Los Angeles Clippers

Tiny Archibald's achilles. Bill Walton's feet. Brian Taylor's achilles. Michael Brook's knee. Norm Nixon's knee. Marques Johnson's neck. Derek Smith's knee. Danny Manning's knee. Ron Harper's knee. Loy Vaught's back. Elton Brand's achilles. Shaun Livingston's knee. Blake Griffin's kneecap. Chauncy Billups' achilles. A bad enough legacy in and of itself. Now add - after Steph Curry goes down and the doorway opens for the Clips . . . BOOM! . . . CP3 and Griffin go down in the same game and the door slams shut! Die, Clippers. Again.

3 - The Queens and George Karl

Like an In-N-Out Double-Double with cheese, you get extra value at a small price! The Queens hold Boogie Cousins hostage rather than dealing him to the Lakers and pay the price. They still stink and their lockerroom goes Chernobyl. You should've moved to Vegas, rubes. Even better, the smug, arrogant Laker-baiting know it all named George Karl proves that his sell-by date passed about 10 years ago. Enjoy unemployment, George.

4 - LeBron's Bald Spot*

Tick . . . tick . . . tick . . . 31 years old and 2 NBA Titles. Kobe had FIVE at age 31. You've still got time, Bronnie, but if Steph's ankle's hold up, you aren't getting one this year, either. Tick . . . tick . . . tick . . .

5 - Lurch

Heh heh heh. You clothes-lined Rambis. You let Googs walk for nothing rather than sign-and-trade him to LA for Eddie/Elden/#1. You gift-wrapped KG to Ainge instead of trading him for Bynum. You wooed D12 away from the P&G. But your post-playing career legacy? Awful GM and lousy coach. Kick rocks, loser!

My P&G will be back on top, soon, but until then, I have plenty to keep me going.

* - note: if LBJ signs with the Lakers, I will officially root for him to pass Kobe.
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All_Star_Laker · Star Player Joined: 30 Jul 2005 Posts: 2672 Location: NYC

welcome back
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KobeRe-Loaded · Franchise Player Joined: 09 Dec 2003 Posts: 14944

Pure EVIL ... well done!
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GoldenThroat · Moderator Joined: 25 Jul 2005 Posts: 37474

Lol. Good to see you around, Dr. Laker.

kikanga · Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 4:44 pm Post subject:

Great post OP.
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Omar Little · Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 4:47 pm Post subject:

The Dr. is in.
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“We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” ― Elie Wiesel

Surfitall · Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 4:49 pm Post subject:

Bravo!

Omar Little · Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 4:51 pm Post subject:

The class of 02 out in force!
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“We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” ― Elie Wiesel

City_Dawg · Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 4:58 pm Post subject: Re: Schadenfreude, Lakers style

DancingBarry · Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 5:39 pm Post subject:

Math · Star Player Joined: 22 Mar 2015 Posts: 1550

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LakerEric · Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 6:16 pm Post subject:

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Deathstroke · Star Player Joined: 10 Dec 2015 Posts: 2131 Location: OC

Great post. Good to see the Dr is back in

kwase · Star Player Joined: 21 Mar 2008 Posts: 3069

Hilarious

SuperboyReformed · Star Player Joined: 07 Oct 2012 Posts: 4083

no more sabbaticals for you doctor!

Peoples Hernandez · Star Player Joined: 11 Apr 2009 Posts: 3727

Sooooo Petty!

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Whenever the Lakers benefit all of a sudden rules need to be changed and trades need to be blocked.

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NVD · Starting Rotation Joined: 02 Jun 2013 Posts: 247

I approve

panamaniac · Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 9:45 pm Post subject:

AFireInside619 · Franchise Player Joined: 11 Dec 2015 Posts: 11447

Seems to me the Doctor gave a few teams a reality check-up!

jjangx27 · Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 10:08 pm Post subject:

love it!!! all of ehttttt!!!!

Wino · Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 10:13 pm Post subject:

Love it man, a true Laker fan he gets it!
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Goldenwest · Star Player Joined: 28 Nov 2009 Posts: 2801

Awesome, better than the LA Times.

lakerjoshua · Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 11:31 pm Post subject:

To add...OKC may be handing us Durant on a silver platter if they lose to the Spurs!

Arbitrary · Star Player Joined: 01 Feb 2009 Posts: 5788

OregonLakerGuy · Posted: Tue May 03, 2016 2:51 am Post subject: