| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
etmo
Starting Rotation
Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Posts: 176
|
 Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 12:12 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| tox wrote: | Really good article. Based on my personal experience, Kobe is absolutely right. Although usually it applies the other way around --- parents spoiling their children---, the point is that being gifted everything you want decays your drive and work ethic, and you start taking for granted things that you would otherwise have consistently be happy to have gotten.
There's a reason people such as the Gates and Buffetts plan to donate most of their wealth to charity on their death, instead of giving their kids all that money. |
this....all kinds of this |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Vancouver Fan
Franchise Player
Joined: 17 Apr 2006
Posts: 17740
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 12:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| aprevo15 wrote: |
Great point. You answered my question about not giving his parents enough money. |
Doesn't get it.
_________________
Music is my medicine |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
hoopschick29
Franchise Player
Joined: 23 Jul 2004
Posts: 12898
Location: Los Angeles
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 12:20 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| etmo wrote: | | tox wrote: | Really good article. Based on my personal experience, Kobe is absolutely right. Although usually it applies the other way around --- parents spoiling their children---, the point is that being gifted everything you want decays your drive and work ethic, and you start taking for granted things that you would otherwise have consistently be happy to have gotten.
There's a reason people such as the Gates and Buffetts plan to donate most of their wealth to charity on their death, instead of giving their kids all that money. |
this....all kinds of this |
Such a great point. Not only does it decay drive and ambition, it also eats away at the 'ties that bind.'
_________________
So glad we gave you your flowers while you were here, Kobe. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
audioaxes
Franchise Player
Joined: 26 Apr 2004
Posts: 12573
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 12:27 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| aprevo15 wrote: | | audioaxes wrote: | | Runway8 wrote: | You only live one life. Your success is an anomaly because you're part of the 1%. I would spoil my parents and relatives unless they're making a major dent in my wealth where I cannot set-up my children. So I would only agree with Kobe if his family was making a major dent in his wealth. Otherwise, I just don't understand wealthy people who hoard so much asset. You hear it all the time, so and so is worth this and that much. And it's jaw-dropping because you're not going to be able to use it all in your life, and you're not going to be able to take it with you when you leave this world. I just can never fathom getting into money arguments with my parents if I'm part of the 1%.
And the problem with convincing people that you're cutting them off for their own good is that it's general knowledge that rich people like to become richer. It's never enough for wealthy people. They keep building their empire because they have the means to do so. It takes money to make money, that's why these people keep getting wealthier. One day, Kobe will be an old man with all this money and he may regret that he even had these fights with his parents when they were a live. |
I agree to an extent...
I think parents should be taken care of for life if you are filthy rich. By the time people make a huge amount of money their parents would already be retirement age so they shouldnt have to work another day in their lives.
Siblings and other family is a different story. I would try to set them up with something to give them a helping hand (such as an annuity) or perhaps a lump sum investment into something like a family business where they can run and reap the profits. But I definitely wouldnt have them sitting back living off of my money carefree while I'm out in the world working my behind off to keep my success up.
Same goes the other way for me. If one of my siblings ran into some big time money I would never even think of doing something like quitting my job and trying to live off their money. |
After reading this, I was reading about Kobe's mom selling off his high school memorabilia. The article was estimating the total of all the items to be about 1.5 million dollars. That is just chump change for Kobe. He could have easily given that amount to them and then some. So it makes me wonder did Kobe not give enough to his parents. |
*based on rumors* in Kobe's situation, wasnt about Kobe not giving them enough... it was about them being unappreciative and asking for more and more (probably from a jealous streak of constantly comparing what Kobe was doing for his wife's family) and Kobe finally tried to curb that and they responded by selling his stuff. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
panamaniac
Franchise Player
Joined: 28 May 2011
Posts: 11239
Location: PTY
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 12:39 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Nice article by Kobe. I don't know that I can put my judge hat on because I don't know exactly what his relationship what his parents/siblings/family is, nor am I a pro athlete making lots of coin. Tough for someone to say what they would do in that position. With that said i appreciate his honesty, and if other young/aspiring athletes can gain some insight from this then that's probably what his objective is. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
x75274
Starting Rotation
Joined: 03 Nov 2010
Posts: 674
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 12:46 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Runway8 wrote: | You only live one life. Your success is an anomaly because you're part of the 1%. I would spoil my parents and relatives unless they're making a major dent in my wealth where I cannot set-up my children. So I would only agree with Kobe if his family was making a major dent in his wealth. Otherwise, I just don't understand wealthy people who hoard so much asset. You hear it all the time, so and so is worth this and that much. And it's jaw-dropping because you're not going to be able to use it all in your life, and you're not going to be able to take it with you when you leave this world. I just can never fathom getting into money arguments with my parents if I'm part of the 1%.
And the problem with convincing people that you're cutting them off for their own good is that it's general knowledge that rich people like to become richer. It's never enough for wealthy people. They keep building their empire because they have the means to do so. It takes money to make money, that's why these people keep getting wealthier. One day, Kobe will be an old man with all this money and he may regret that he even had these fights with his parents when they were a live. |
Or he will pat his own back for a job well done and understand that his parents and siblings were leaches who needed to be put in check. As a person going through this now, family and people asking for money need to be told one word so they get off your back for good: "NO". Set them up to help themselves. I never give free handouts |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
22
Franchise Player
Joined: 05 Apr 2013
Posts: 17063
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 1:02 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| great read |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Surfitall
Star Player
Joined: 12 Feb 2002
Posts: 3829
Location: South Orange County
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 1:06 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I think that there is a third option that is better than the two Kobe is stating. I can't remember which family it is, the Rockefeller's or some similar family, that came up with a better way. Basically, each relative gets a access to their share of the wealth and inheritance as long as two conditions are met. First, they need to work. It doesn't matter what kind of work, but they need to work. Second, all the money that they earn must be donated to charity. In exchange for those two things, they get the money. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
AllorNothing
Franchise Player
Joined: 08 Oct 2001
Posts: 18448
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 1:27 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Jack Johnson wish he had read Kobe's letter. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
USCandLakers
Franchise Player
Joined: 13 Mar 2008
Posts: 19955
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 1:46 pm Post subject: |
|
|
The real message:
| Quote: | You were right about him. You've always been right about him. He's going to hire Mike D'Antoni over Phil Jackson. Fear him. It's Jerry. Jerry West. He's the key!
Oh, and when three white guys approach you in a parking lot and ask you about Andrew Bynum, don't say anything! |
_________________
A banana is killed every time a terrible thread or post is made.  Save the bananas. Stop creating terrible posts! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
jonnybravo
Retired Number
Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Posts: 30710
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 2:19 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Surfitall wrote: | | I think that there is a third option that is better than the two Kobe is stating. I can't remember which family it is, the Rockefeller's or some similar family, that came up with a better way. Basically, each relative gets a access to their share of the wealth and inheritance as long as two conditions are met. First, they need to work. It doesn't matter what kind of work, but they need to work. Second, all the money that they earn must be donated to charity. In exchange for those two things, they get the money. |
Yes but that is for their heirs, not their siblings and parents. There's a huge distinction between entitlement and gratitude and it's personal for everyone. Not sure how I feel about writing an article about it, but clearly for Kobe, after several houses (and I'm willing to be he pays for everything else), house #3 at X $ amount became enough is enough. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
lakerlove123
Starting Rotation
Joined: 07 Jul 2015
Posts: 362
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 2:22 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Jeez, based on some of what I was reading here, I thought Kobe had completely excoriated his family in the article. I don't think he meant it as a diatribe, even a subtle one, against his parents. Life comes through. Simply a beautiful message to have left in the end. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
slavavov
Star Player
Joined: 03 Oct 2003
Posts: 8352
Location: Santa Monica
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 3:09 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Great letter with a great lesson. When your parents have done a great lesson raising you, it's hard to say no to them in terms of giving them money. But a lot of athletes and celebrities have gone broke just by saying yes to their parents, uncles, cousins, "long lost cousins" and so forth.
I believe that we don't necessarily owe our parents anything, even if we're filthy rich. They owe us some things until we're old enough to support ourselves, but they are not entitled to us giving them handouts, as long as they already have the means to support themselves. Unfortunately, plenty of athletes grew up poor and they feel like they owe it to their family and the community to help them get out of poverty. But sometimes when we think we're helping people by giving them handouts and doing things for them, we're actually disabling and harming them.
_________________
Lakers 49ers Chargers Dodgers |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
hoopschick29
Franchise Player
Joined: 23 Jul 2004
Posts: 12898
Location: Los Angeles
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 3:28 pm Post subject: |
|
|
There's nothing wrong with lavishing on your family and giving to the people you love and care about. Everybody's happy, everybody's grateful, and it's a good time. But what seems to happen sometimes is that gratitude devolves into entitlement and competition and keeping score on what you're doing for others (i.e. the in-laws). And your relationship once defined and nurtured by love and devotion becomes all about what you're providing financially. At that point, it's either time to re-draw some borders (which is what Kobe tried to do with his folks) or cut the cord completely (which is basically what he had to do to everybody).
_________________
So glad we gave you your flowers while you were here, Kobe. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
LongBeachPoly
Franchise Player
Joined: 14 Jul 2012
Posts: 16162
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 3:31 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| aprevo15 wrote: | | audioaxes wrote: | | Runway8 wrote: | You only live one life. Your success is an anomaly because you're part of the 1%. I would spoil my parents and relatives unless they're making a major dent in my wealth where I cannot set-up my children. So I would only agree with Kobe if his family was making a major dent in his wealth. Otherwise, I just don't understand wealthy people who hoard so much asset. You hear it all the time, so and so is worth this and that much. And it's jaw-dropping because you're not going to be able to use it all in your life, and you're not going to be able to take it with you when you leave this world. I just can never fathom getting into money arguments with my parents if I'm part of the 1%.
And the problem with convincing people that you're cutting them off for their own good is that it's general knowledge that rich people like to become richer. It's never enough for wealthy people. They keep building their empire because they have the means to do so. It takes money to make money, that's why these people keep getting wealthier. One day, Kobe will be an old man with all this money and he may regret that he even had these fights with his parents when they were a live. |
I agree to an extent...
I think parents should be taken care of for life if you are filthy rich. By the time people make a huge amount of money their parents would already be retirement age so they shouldnt have to work another day in their lives.
Siblings and other family is a different story. I would try to set them up with something to give them a helping hand (such as an annuity) or perhaps a lump sum investment into something like a family business where they can run and reap the profits. But I definitely wouldnt have them sitting back living off of my money carefree while I'm out in the world working my behind off to keep my success up.
Same goes the other way for me. If one of my siblings ran into some big time money I would never even think of doing something like quitting my job and trying to live off their money. |
After reading this, I was reading about Kobe's mom selling off his high school memorabilia. The article was estimating the total of all the items to be about 1.5 million dollars. That is just chump change for Kobe. He could have easily given that amount to them and then some. So it makes me wonder did Kobe not give enough to his parents. |
"Enough" is a relative term. If Kobe was making $50k a year, then giving them $1,000 is "enough."
You're saying $1.5 mil is chump change to Kobe so giving them less than $1.5 mil was not "enough."
Now, that means if Kobe was a billionaire, maybe $15 mil might not be "enough."
Now, think of it from the parents' point of view. When you raise your kids, what do you wish for? You just want them to grow up and be able to support themselves and their family. That's all you want.
If they go to college, get a degree and get a job for $50k a year, you'll be ok with that. Now, if they give you $1k as a gift, you'd probably shed a tear because it was such a great gesture from your kid. They worked hard for their money and they wanted to pay you back.
Now, if they turned out as a successful millionaire, that should probably exceed your dreams of what you wanted for your kid. Not only are they able to support themselves, but they are in a position to help others. But now, whatever they give, it's not about being grateful. It's now a question of "is it enough?"
$1.5 mil? Nope, not if you're worth $200 mil plus buddy. That's not "enough."
Sounds like his parents would have a better relationship with him if he were just an accountant making $50k a year.
If I could ask Kobe's parents an honest question, I'd ask them this: knowing how everything turned out, how their relationship soured, if they had a choice which would they choose?
1) Kobe being an all time great basketball player making $200 mil plus over his career (and their relationship souring over jealousy, envy, entitlement)
2) Kobe having a reg job making $50k a year (no hard feelings)
I'd also like to ask the same question of everyone who has kids here. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Rivershow
Star Player
Joined: 09 Dec 2011
Posts: 6731
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 3:49 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| hoopschick29 wrote: | | There's nothing wrong with lavishing on your family and giving to the people you love and care about. Everybody's happy, everybody's grateful, and it's a good time. But what seems to happen sometimes is that gratitude devolves into entitlement and competition and keeping score on what you're doing for others (i.e. the in-laws). And your relationship once defined and nurtured by love and devotion becomes all about what you're providing financially. At that point, it's either time to re-draw some borders (which is what Kobe tried to do with his folks) or cut the cord completely (which is basically what he had to do to everybody). |
Basically. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Vancouver Fan
Franchise Player
Joined: 17 Apr 2006
Posts: 17740
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 3:50 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Easy to talk ish when it isn't our money. Anyways...
_________________
Music is my medicine |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Basketball Fan
Franchise Player
Joined: 03 Feb 2004
Posts: 24764
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 4:50 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I'm not actually bothered by what was in the letter itself he brought up a lot of good points about keeping family and business separate because $$$ changes family dynamics.
That it is important that they learn how to fend for themselves. Something I've seen Bill Gates and Warren Buffett say themselves but I also wouldn't have put it out there publically either.
Then again most of us already knew this so its not as if he said anything new here.
I expected much worse because other boards are saying how controversial this was and that Kobe hates his black family but is willing to support his non black inlaws that he's a sell out etc. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Black20Ice
Star Player
Joined: 24 Jun 2005
Posts: 1860
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 6:00 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| What a passive-aggressive letter. I wish he had kept this information to himself. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
panamaniac
Franchise Player
Joined: 28 May 2011
Posts: 11239
Location: PTY
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 6:24 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Black20Ice wrote: | | What a passive-aggressive letter. I wish he had kept this information to himself. |
Sometimes it's good to get (bleep) off your chest. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Basketball Fan
Franchise Player
Joined: 03 Feb 2004
Posts: 24764
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 6:27 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Black20Ice wrote: | | What a passive-aggressive letter. I wish he had kept this information to himself. |
I don't mind the letter sometimes its good to get it out but I wouldn't have put it on a website either where it will be there for eternity |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
RavishingRuWooba
Starting Rotation
Joined: 11 Nov 2002
Posts: 600
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 6:32 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| The Grind wrote: | | Black20Ice wrote: | | What a passive-aggressive letter. I wish he had kept this information to himself. |
Sometimes it's good to get (bleep) off your chest. |
It's valid, I'm smiling, but I could have still slaughtered everything he just said at any time I wanted, but I hate doing so. It's a part of life, it's necessary, now I'm not taking anything away from what he said. There's a whole 'nother level, and it's necessary. I hate to do it, but rest assured, the only person being murked for life is me. There's a whole 'nother level, and a genius way to say it, but it's too painful too look up. I don't even care anymore, it's beyond unfathomable the blow this has been to my soul. I can top. I get it, his points are valid and old news, someone can relate. If I think, I'm dead. Emor,
I don't hate the guy, every hour, of every minute, of every second, of every day. 9 hour days,..
Anyway, yeah(T)f
___I like Verdana 3.5 the most, it's a valid essay.
_
+?_
The ability to compartamentalize, and instill knowledge for the next generation. Congratulations, but although some people can relate, it's those who can't compartamentalize anymore, and can't say a word, because they're not normal anymore.
The ability to compartamentalize, still}][)
People, kikc muel,s idon'
I hate when it's raining, 'penguins....' |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Laker4andmore
Star Player
Joined: 17 Sep 2002
Posts: 1056
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 7:05 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Didnt Kobe cut off his parents and sisters because they didnt approve of his marriage to Vannesa? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
hoopschick29
Franchise Player
Joined: 23 Jul 2004
Posts: 12898
Location: Los Angeles
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 7:24 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Laker4andmore wrote: | | Didnt Kobe cut off his parents and sisters because they didnt approve of his marriage to Vannesa? |
It was the other way around, actually.
_________________
So glad we gave you your flowers while you were here, Kobe. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
AllorNothing
Franchise Player
Joined: 08 Oct 2001
Posts: 18448
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 7:26 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| hoopschick29 wrote: | | Laker4andmore wrote: | | Didnt Kobe cut off his parents and sisters because they didnt approve of his marriage to Vannesa? |
It was the other way around, actually. |
Yeah Kobe too young and Vanessa not black. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
