How do you think you'd react if your kid told you they were trans?
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999
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 5:19 pm    Post subject:

DaMuleRules wrote:
999 wrote:
I'll assume you want honesty

I would be disappointed at first. But I will still love him unconditionally and be supportive. He's still my child the one I was there for his birth, I kissed and hugged him everyday before school. Would still love him if he was gay trans or straight.


Unless he was homeless, then he'd be getting the "golden" treatment. . .


The golden treatment from my heart. My child comes first no matter what. He is my life and pretty much the reason why I haven't put a bullet through my own head
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 5:59 pm    Post subject:

kikanga wrote:
lakerjoshua wrote:
I have a couple TS friends, one who is now post-op. She is getting married in the spring to a really great guy.

If my son told me he was TS I would be supportive and understanding.


I'm so ignorant on this topic. I have no transgender friends or family members.
But I have a question. The guy she is marrying. Did he always only date transgender individuals? Or did he date cisgender females as well (in the past)?
Just wondering.


He is hereto sexual and so is she. She was born a woman with the wrong parts, she is a she, he is a he, it's a hetero relationship.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 7:08 pm    Post subject:

Dladi Vidac wrote:
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Shoot myself.


What a chump.

FanofBynum best of luck. If you were my kid I would be extremely proud.


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Understanding. Pass it on.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 11:00 pm    Post subject:

lakerjoshua wrote:
kikanga wrote:
lakerjoshua wrote:
I have a couple TS friends, one who is now post-op. She is getting married in the spring to a really great guy.

If my son told me he was TS I would be supportive and understanding.


I'm so ignorant on this topic. I have no transgender friends or family members.
But I have a question. The guy she is marrying. Did he always only date transgender individuals? Or did he date cisgender females as well (in the past)?
Just wondering.


He is hereto sexual and so is she. She was born a woman with the wrong parts, she is a she, he is a he, it's a hetero relationship.


I get that. I meant to say transgender females instead of transgender individuals. My bad.
But you answered my question anyways. He's always liked females. Whether they are cisgender or transgender.
And I'm sure she identifies herself as a female first. The whole cigender vs transgender labels come a distance 2nd in terms of self identification.
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 8:03 am    Post subject:

kikanga wrote:
lakerjoshua wrote:
kikanga wrote:
lakerjoshua wrote:
I have a couple TS friends, one who is now post-op. She is getting married in the spring to a really great guy.

If my son told me he was TS I would be supportive and understanding.


I'm so ignorant on this topic. I have no transgender friends or family members.
But I have a question. The guy she is marrying. Did he always only date transgender individuals? Or did he date cisgender females as well (in the past)?
Just wondering.


He is hereto sexual and so is she. She was born a woman with the wrong parts, she is a she, he is a he, it's a hetero relationship.


I get that. I meant to say transgender females instead of transgender individuals. My bad.
But you answered my question anyways. He's always liked females. Whether they are cisgender or transgender.
And I'm sure she identifies herself as a female first. The whole cigender vs transgender labels come a distance 2nd in terms of self identification.


Indeed. And I think that's where a lot of confusion come in where people do not understand this. It's not a dumb question and was one I asked as well. And the above is how it was explained to me.
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 6:55 pm    Post subject:

This is a very difficult topic for a lot of people because they think it is something new that didn't exist before. I'm pretty sure people have always struggled with being transsexual, homosexual, etc but were not able to deal with it openly before.

People have slowly started accepting that homosexuality is real but I do know several people whose family relationships essentially dissolved after they came out. For the younger generations, most of us know at least one person and have seen the struggles they went through and how desperate they were to be "normal" so even if the family never understands, there are friends that can be leaned on. I think the topic of gender identity is still far behind in terms of acceptance.

Hopefully it is something we can continue to gain more understanding of so it can be accurately diagnosed at a young age.
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 11:45 pm    Post subject:

Treble Clef wrote:
This is a very difficult topic for a lot of people because they think it is something new that didn't exist before. I'm pretty sure people have always struggled with being transsexual, homosexual, etc but were not able to deal with it openly before.

People have slowly started accepting that homosexuality is real but I do know several people whose family relationships essentially dissolved after they came out. For the younger generations, most of us know at least one person and have seen the struggles they went through and how desperate they were to be "normal" so even if the family never understands, there are friends that can be leaned on. I think the topic of gender identity is still far behind in terms of acceptance.

Hopefully it is something we can continue to gain more understanding of so it can be accurately diagnosed at a young age.


I completely agree however I think diagnosis at an early age is making dangerous leaps (if you meant in a medical sense).

There's some scary stuff out there like gender reassignment and what not, doctors who don't fully understand, making assumptions about gender. I've seen horrible stories about children who are born somewhat ambiguous and the doctors decide to just "create" the organs they feel best matches the baby.

I think it's best to let it run its course. Some know by age 3 some by age 30. It's their own personal discovery.
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 2:10 am    Post subject:

lakerjoshua wrote:
Treble Clef wrote:
This is a very difficult topic for a lot of people because they think it is something new that didn't exist before. I'm pretty sure people have always struggled with being transsexual, homosexual, etc but were not able to deal with it openly before.

People have slowly started accepting that homosexuality is real but I do know several people whose family relationships essentially dissolved after they came out. For the younger generations, most of us know at least one person and have seen the struggles they went through and how desperate they were to be "normal" so even if the family never understands, there are friends that can be leaned on. I think the topic of gender identity is still far behind in terms of acceptance.

Hopefully it is something we can continue to gain more understanding of so it can be accurately diagnosed at a young age.


I completely agree however I think diagnosis at an early age is making dangerous leaps (if you meant in a medical sense).

There's some scary stuff out there like gender reassignment and what not, doctors who don't fully understand, making assumptions about gender. I've seen horrible stories about children who are born somewhat ambiguous and the doctors decide to just "create" the organs they feel best matches the baby.

I think it's best to let it run its course. Some know by age 3 some by age 30. It's their own personal discovery.


While I don't have an opinion on whether or not people are born gay or not, I don't think we should call it a "diagnosis" as that implies people have some sort of illness or disease, which they don't
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 2:33 am    Post subject:

15 wrote:
lakerjoshua wrote:
Treble Clef wrote:
This is a very difficult topic for a lot of people because they think it is something new that didn't exist before. I'm pretty sure people have always struggled with being transsexual, homosexual, etc but were not able to deal with it openly before.

People have slowly started accepting that homosexuality is real but I do know several people whose family relationships essentially dissolved after they came out. For the younger generations, most of us know at least one person and have seen the struggles they went through and how desperate they were to be "normal" so even if the family never understands, there are friends that can be leaned on. I think the topic of gender identity is still far behind in terms of acceptance.

Hopefully it is something we can continue to gain more understanding of so it can be accurately diagnosed at a young age.


I completely agree however I think diagnosis at an early age is making dangerous leaps (if you meant in a medical sense).

There's some scary stuff out there like gender reassignment and what not, doctors who don't fully understand, making assumptions about gender. I've seen horrible stories about children who are born somewhat ambiguous and the doctors decide to just "create" the organs they feel best matches the baby.

I think it's best to let it run its course. Some know by age 3 some by age 30. It's their own personal discovery.


While I don't have an opinion on whether or not people are born gay or not, I don't think we should call it a "diagnosis" as that implies people have some sort of illness or disease, which they don't


Of course people are born gay. Putting aside the fact that you see virtually all mammals having homosexuals amongst them, I'll just ask this to you: do you have attraction to the same sex? Because saying "it's a choice" implies that it would be a choice for not just gay people, but straight people as well. Straight dudes are not attracted to dudes. And gay dudes are not attracted--cannot be attracted--to women. Unless you're willing to admit that all straight men feel attraction to other men but simply don't act on it, then, by definition, gay people are born differently. I've heard some ultra-religious people even conceding that point but then saying that gay people still should not act upon their desires because it's a sin, which, of course, is pure BS.
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 7:11 am    Post subject:

I know I once said I was sure I could tell if someone was transgendered

I never knew about Chastity Bono.. wow.. looks a lot happier as a man...
And.. I wouldn't be able to tell

If my kid said he was transgendered.. so what.. it's their LIFE.. I just get to Love them.. not control or own or possess them

I would Love my kid just the same.. why would it be any different.. am I cultural robot.. (bleep) everyone that has a problem with my child.. they are the problem not the child..

What would you do if your child grew up religious?

Pics of Chaz Bono
https://www.google.com/search?q=chaz+bono+chastity&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:59 am    Post subject:

ContagiousInspiration wrote:
I know I once said I was sure I could tell if someone was transgendered

I never knew about Chastity Bono.. wow.. looks a lot happier as a man...
And.. I wouldn't be able to tell

If my kid said he was transgendered.. so what.. it's their LIFE.. I just get to Love them.. not control or own or possess them

I would Love my kid just the same.. why would it be any different.. am I cultural robot.. (bleep) everyone that has a problem with my child.. they are the problem not the child..

What would you do if your child grew up religious?

Pics of Chaz Bono
https://www.google.com/search?q=chaz+bono+chastity&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8


Chaz Bono is not the only celebrity that trans. Caitlyn Jenner. And that woman from OITNB
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 9:56 am    Post subject:

I'm pretty sure I would ask them first if they even know what being trans, gay or whatever they think they want to be means.
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 10:34 am    Post subject:

999 wrote:
ContagiousInspiration wrote:
I know I once said I was sure I could tell if someone was transgendered

I never knew about Chastity Bono.. wow.. looks a lot happier as a man...
And.. I wouldn't be able to tell

If my kid said he was transgendered.. so what.. it's their LIFE.. I just get to Love them.. not control or own or possess them

I would Love my kid just the same.. why would it be any different.. am I cultural robot.. (bleep) everyone that has a problem with my child.. they are the problem not the child..

What would you do if your child grew up religious?

Pics of Chaz Bono
https://www.google.com/search?q=chaz+bono+chastity&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8


Chaz Bono is not the only celebrity that trans. Caitlyn Jenner. And that woman from OITNB


Also the woman from Sens8 who, if not for her voice, I would never guess was once a man.
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 10:43 am    Post subject:

greenfrog wrote:
999 wrote:
ContagiousInspiration wrote:
I know I once said I was sure I could tell if someone was transgendered

I never knew about Chastity Bono.. wow.. looks a lot happier as a man...
And.. I wouldn't be able to tell

If my kid said he was transgendered.. so what.. it's their LIFE.. I just get to Love them.. not control or own or possess them

I would Love my kid just the same.. why would it be any different.. am I cultural robot.. (bleep) everyone that has a problem with my child.. they are the problem not the child..

What would you do if your child grew up religious?

Pics of Chaz Bono
https://www.google.com/search?q=chaz+bono+chastity&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8


Chaz Bono is not the only celebrity that trans. Caitlyn Jenner. And that woman from OITNB


Also the woman from Sens8 who, if not for her voice, I would never guess was once a man.

Laverne Cox

Jamie Clayton
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 7:54 pm    Post subject:

One of the directing Wachowskis, who are involved with Sense 8, is now a trans woman. Lana Wachowski is her name. Used to be Larry Wachowski.

EDIT: Both Wachowskis were born as men and are now trans women. My mistake.
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Last edited by ChickenStu on Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:03 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:00 pm    Post subject:

999 wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:
999 wrote:
I'll assume you want honesty

I would be disappointed at first. But I will still love him unconditionally and be supportive. He's still my child the one I was there for his birth, I kissed and hugged him everyday before school. Would still love him if he was gay trans or straight.


Unless he was homeless, then he'd be getting the "golden" treatment. . .


The golden treatment from my heart.


That's not where it came from with the homeless guy.

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My child comes first no matter what. He is my life and pretty much the reason why I haven't put a bullet through my own head


All joking aside. That's what it comes down to.

Your child is your child no matter what and you need to be there for them regardless of what presents itself. Our children present all kinds of challenges from moment one until they are adults. Our kids have presented my wife and I with several challenges both physical and psychological, our job is just to be supportive and help them sort it out. That task never changes, regardless of scope.
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:06 pm    Post subject:

ChickenStu wrote:
One of the directing Wachowskis, who are involved with Sense 8, is now a trans woman. Lana Wachowski is her name. Used to be Larry Wachowski.

EDIT: Both Wachowskis were born as men and are now trans women. My mistake.


Quick edit. I was just about to correct you on that. Andy is now Lilly
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:45 pm    Post subject:

DaMuleRules wrote:
ChickenStu wrote:
One of the directing Wachowskis, who are involved with Sense 8, is now a trans woman. Lana Wachowski is her name. Used to be Larry Wachowski.

EDIT: Both Wachowskis were born as men and are now trans women. My mistake.


Quick edit. I was just about to correct you on that. Andy is now Lilly


I say in all seriousness that someone should make a documentary about them. Two brothers, both transitioned from male to female, both successful directors, transitioning late in life. So many different interesting dynamics to explore and a lot to learn too. I'd watch it.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:06 am    Post subject:

LakerSanity wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:
ChickenStu wrote:
One of the directing Wachowskis, who are involved with Sense 8, is now a trans woman. Lana Wachowski is her name. Used to be Larry Wachowski.

EDIT: Both Wachowskis were born as men and are now trans women. My mistake.


Quick edit. I was just about to correct you on that. Andy is now Lilly


I say in all seriousness that someone should make a documentary about them. Two brothers, both transitioned from male to female, both successful directors, transitioning late in life. So many different interesting dynamics to explore and a lot to learn too. I'd watch it.


As would I.

I also remember the story of longtime LA Times sports columnist Mike Penner/Christine Daniels, which ended tragically, unfortunately.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 9:31 am    Post subject:

LakerSanity wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:
ChickenStu wrote:
One of the directing Wachowskis, who are involved with Sense 8, is now a trans woman. Lana Wachowski is her name. Used to be Larry Wachowski.

EDIT: Both Wachowskis were born as men and are now trans women. My mistake.


Quick edit. I was just about to correct you on that. Andy is now Lilly


I say in all seriousness that someone should make a documentary about them. Two brothers, both transitioned from male to female, both successful directors, transitioning late in life. So many different interesting dynamics to explore and a lot to learn too. I'd watch it.


It would be good, but not likely, as both are notoriously private people.

Btw, to the OP, you and I have talked so you know how I feel. Tell your dad, and let the healing begin.

And to 999, I caught the gun to your head reference. If you ever need someone to talk to, look me up. Been there.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 2:29 pm    Post subject:

It depends on how old they are. My middle son is 4 and if he says he wants to be a girl, then he's clearly confused and we would seek help immediately. How the hell would a 4 year old know something like that? You can't vote, drink, drive, etc. let alone know if you want to have sex change surgery. Kind of like Jazz from that show on TLC. They're making a big mistake in my opinion. I think there's a way for him to be a transgender in a healthy way without the mutilation.

If my 19 year old was transgender, I'd be fine with it. Nothing changes, he's still my son and I love him. He can bring whomever he wants to our house and I'll welcome them with open arms. I'll give them a big hug.

but...don't ask me to cater to the pronouns. My son will still be my son. and not my "daughter" I will refer to him as such.

You want tolerance? you got it. No problem. Just don't try to change science or the way I speak.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 2:50 pm    Post subject:

frijolero01 wrote:
It depends on how old they are. My middle son is 4 and if he says he wants to be a girl, then he's clearly confused and we would seek help immediately. How the hell would a 4 year old know something like that? You can't vote, drink, drive, etc. let alone know if you want to have sex change surgery. Kind of like Jazz from that show on TLC. They're making a big mistake in my opinion. I think there's a way for him to be a transgender in a healthy way without the mutilation.

If my 19 year old was transgender, I'd be fine with it. Nothing changes, he's still my son and I love him. He can bring whomever he wants to our house and I'll welcome them with open arms. I'll give them a big hug.

but...don't ask me to cater to the pronouns. My son will still be my son. and not my "daughter" I will refer to him as such.

You want tolerance? you got it. No problem. Just don't try to change science or the way I speak.


Just so you know, the vast majority of trans people started exhibiting knowledge of it around the age of 4...

Not sure you understand what tolerance is either. "OK, you get to vote, but I'm still calling you the n word..."
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 4:08 pm    Post subject:

Omar Little wrote:
LakerSanity wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:
ChickenStu wrote:
One of the directing Wachowskis, who are involved with Sense 8, is now a trans woman. Lana Wachowski is her name. Used to be Larry Wachowski.

EDIT: Both Wachowskis were born as men and are now trans women. My mistake.


Quick edit. I was just about to correct you on that. Andy is now Lilly


I say in all seriousness that someone should make a documentary about them. Two brothers, both transitioned from male to female, both successful directors, transitioning late in life. So many different interesting dynamics to explore and a lot to learn too. I'd watch it.


It would be good, but not likely, as both are notoriously private people.

Btw, to the OP, you and I have talked so you know how I feel. Tell your dad, and let the healing begin.

And to 999, I caught the gun to your head reference. If you ever need someone to talk to, look me up. Been there.


thanks 24... im moving past it.... the birth of my son 7 years ago really gave me hope at life
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 4:24 pm    Post subject:

Omar Little wrote:
frijolero01 wrote:
It depends on how old they are. My middle son is 4 and if he says he wants to be a girl, then he's clearly confused and we would seek help immediately. How the hell would a 4 year old know something like that? You can't vote, drink, drive, etc. let alone know if you want to have sex change surgery. Kind of like Jazz from that show on TLC. They're making a big mistake in my opinion. I think there's a way for him to be a transgender in a healthy way without the mutilation.

If my 19 year old was transgender, I'd be fine with it. Nothing changes, he's still my son and I love him. He can bring whomever he wants to our house and I'll welcome them with open arms. I'll give them a big hug.

but...don't ask me to cater to the pronouns. My son will still be my son. and not my "daughter" I will refer to him as such.

You want tolerance? you got it. No problem. Just don't try to change science or the way I speak.


Just so you know, the vast majority of trans people started exhibiting knowledge of it around the age of 4...

Not sure you understand what tolerance is either. "OK, you get to vote, but I'm still calling you the n word..."


dumb comparison. Nobody should be called the n word so, I don't know where the hell you came up with that

. It's not and shouldn't be an insult just because I refer to you by your birth gender. There's a fine line between tolerance and conformity.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 4:28 pm    Post subject:

frijolero01 wrote:
Omar Little wrote:
frijolero01 wrote:
It depends on how old they are. My middle son is 4 and if he says he wants to be a girl, then he's clearly confused and we would seek help immediately. How the hell would a 4 year old know something like that? You can't vote, drink, drive, etc. let alone know if you want to have sex change surgery. Kind of like Jazz from that show on TLC. They're making a big mistake in my opinion. I think there's a way for him to be a transgender in a healthy way without the mutilation.

If my 19 year old was transgender, I'd be fine with it. Nothing changes, he's still my son and I love him. He can bring whomever he wants to our house and I'll welcome them with open arms. I'll give them a big hug.

but...don't ask me to cater to the pronouns. My son will still be my son. and not my "daughter" I will refer to him as such.

You want tolerance? you got it. No problem. Just don't try to change science or the way I speak.


Just so you know, the vast majority of trans people started exhibiting knowledge of it around the age of 4...

Not sure you understand what tolerance is either. "OK, you get to vote, but I'm still calling you the n word..."


dumb comparison. Nobody should be called the n word so, I don't know where the hell you came up with that

. It's not and shouldn't be an insult just because I refer to you by your birth gender. There's a fine line between tolerance and conformity.


It's an apt comparison, because a lot of people used to have the same idea about the n word, because it was the common term of the day, and of course the inferiors shouldn't be insulted.

The thing is, if someone is the "wrong" gender at birth (and I won't get into the differences between sex and gender and sexuality) and transitions, it is not conformist to call them by their correct (chosen if you must) gender. It is basic human decency and politeness.
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Tolerance is an agreement to live in peace, not an agreement to be peaceful no matter the conduct of others. A peace treaty is not a suicide pact.
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