How do you think you'd react if your kid told you they were trans?
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Fan0Bynum17
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PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2017 10:14 pm    Post subject:

DaMuleRules wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Hey everyone, since I'm a total egotist, I thought you'd all like a life update. About a month ago, I showed up dressed one day in front of my dad and he didn't like it at all. I thought he might have needed a push to get used to the idea, I was very wrong. So I've decided I'm going to move in with my friend in norcal, and there I'll live full time as a woman, and eventually get a legal name and gender change. I still need to get some kind of career education, and save up for facial surgery. Anyway, that's the hideous reality of my life, look upon it ye mighty and despair!


Sorry he can't get past his own stupid biases. It's unfair to you and foolish of him (obviously). Good luck up North and I hope your dad gets his head out of his ass one day and can accept what makes you fulfilled as your true self.


Yeah, I was able to talk him out of being angry at me, but he said something kind of hurtful and I had to blow it off for the sake of keeping the peace. He said he didn't want to lose the image of his "son," he said it was like I was committing suicide. Other than that he's being supportive and helpful, so I'll take the good with the bad.
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Fan0Bynum17
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PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2017 10:16 pm    Post subject:

mhan00 wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Hey everyone, since I'm a total egotist, I thought you'd all like a life update. About a month ago, I showed up dressed one day in front of my dad and he didn't like it at all. I thought he might have needed a push to get used to the idea, I was very wrong. So I've decided I'm going to move in with my friend in norcal, and there I'll live full time as a woman, and eventually get a legal name and gender change. I still need to get some kind of career education, and save up for facial surgery. Anyway, that's the hideous reality of my life, look upon it ye mighty and despair!


Good luck to you. I hope your father comes around eventually, but you need to live your life in a way that's right for you, not for him. I'm glad you have friends you can rely on. Please remember if things get overwhelming that there are support groups you can go to just to talk or to get advice, especially if you're anywhere close to San Francisco. There are also plenty of online resources you can look at too, but I'm sure you are already aware of that. Be happy.


Yeah, I'll be within an okay driving distance from SF, I'll probably be getting some medical services there. I'm already set up with counseling. Thank you, and DMR too. It's so nice to know I have moral support here.
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Fan0Bynum17
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PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2017 10:17 pm    Post subject:

Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Hey everyone, since I'm a total egotist, I thought you'd all like a life update. About a month ago, I showed up dressed one day in front of my dad and he didn't like it at all. I thought he might have needed a push to get used to the idea, I was very wrong. So I've decided I'm going to move in with my friend in norcal, and there I'll live full time as a woman, and eventually get a legal name and gender change. I still need to get some kind of career education, and save up for facial surgery. Anyway, that's the hideous reality of my life, look upon it ye mighty and despair!


Did you wear a little black dress?


No, just jeans and a top.
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DaMuleRules
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2017 5:34 am    Post subject:

Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Hey everyone, since I'm a total egotist, I thought you'd all like a life update. About a month ago, I showed up dressed one day in front of my dad and he didn't like it at all. I thought he might have needed a push to get used to the idea, I was very wrong. So I've decided I'm going to move in with my friend in norcal, and there I'll live full time as a woman, and eventually get a legal name and gender change. I still need to get some kind of career education, and save up for facial surgery. Anyway, that's the hideous reality of my life, look upon it ye mighty and despair!


Sorry he can't get past his own stupid biases. It's unfair to you and foolish of him (obviously). Good luck up North and I hope your dad gets his head out of his ass one day and can accept what makes you fulfilled as your true self.


Yeah, I was able to talk him out of being angry at me, but he said something kind of hurtful and I had to blow it off for the sake of keeping the peace. He said he didn't want to lose the image of his "son," he said it was like I was committing suicide. Other than that he's being supportive and helpful, so I'll take the good with the bad.


That's good to hear.
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Fan0Bynum17
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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 10:59 am    Post subject:

On the move today, to start the rest of my life
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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 11:04 am    Post subject:

Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
On the move today, to start the rest of my life


Good luck!
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Fan0Bynum17
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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 11:05 am    Post subject:

Thank you! I'm really excited, although kind of bummed about having to drive 6 hours
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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 11:07 am    Post subject:

You do you.
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Fan0Bynum17
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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 12:40 pm    Post subject:

Everything is fitting into my car quite nicely. Now I'm off to Goodwill to give them all my boys clothes. BTW, I still have my no.25 and no.6 Eddie Jones jerseys
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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 12:44 pm    Post subject:

Love thy child.
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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 12:45 pm    Post subject:

Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
no.25 and no.6 Eddie Jones jerseys


I'll that garbage off of your hands, free of charge. Girls don't need that kind of tacky crap, you're better than that now. If you have any other repulsive stuff like that, I can help you get rid of it.
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Fan0Bynum17
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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 1:46 pm    Post subject:

Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
no.25 and no.6 Eddie Jones jerseys


I'll that garbage off of your hands, free of charge. Girls don't need that kind of tacky crap, you're better than that now. If you have any other repulsive stuff like that, I can help you get rid of it.


Okay sure!....Hey, wait a minute, I know what you're doing!
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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 1:35 am    Post subject:

Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
no.25 and no.6 Eddie Jones jerseys


I'll that garbage off of your hands, free of charge. Girls don't need that kind of tacky crap, you're better than that now. If you have any other repulsive stuff like that, I can help you get rid of it.


Okay sure!....Hey, wait a minute, I know what you're doing!


Damn you had the O.G. Eddie # too. I bought one in 95.
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LakerDYnasty72
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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 8:31 pm    Post subject:

Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Hey everyone, since I'm a total egotist, I thought you'd all like a life update. About a month ago, I showed up dressed one day in front of my dad and he didn't like it at all. I thought he might have needed a push to get used to the idea, I was very wrong. So I've decided I'm going to move in with my friend in norcal, and there I'll live full time as a woman, and eventually get a legal name and gender change. I still need to get some kind of career education, and save up for facial surgery. Anyway, that's the hideous reality of my life, look upon it ye mighty and despair!


Sorry he can't get past his own stupid biases. It's unfair to you and foolish of him (obviously). Good luck up North and I hope your dad gets his head out of his ass one day and can accept what makes you fulfilled as your true self.


Yeah, I was able to talk him out of being angry at me, but he said something kind of hurtful and I had to blow it off for the sake of keeping the peace. He said he didn't want to lose the image of his "son," he said it was like I was committing suicide. Other than that he's being supportive and helpful, so I'll take the good with the bad.


The title of this thread caught my attention because I have a 20 year old daughter, and you asked what a person would do if their child came out as trans. First, I wanted to challenge the poster who call your father's biases stupid.

Horrible word to use. His biases are a reflection of his upbringing and his experiences. It doesn't make them stupid, it simply makes them his, just as you have yours, I have mine, and we all have them. Does that make them stupid? No it makes them simply a matter of different opinions, each deserving of respect and acceptance, which is the difficult part.

If my daughter was to tell me she's trans, or whatever, I'm with the poster who expressed how deep I've found this unknown level of love to be since she was born. I might not agree with it, but I'd accept it because (1) its out of my control and (2) the world is cruel enough, the last person she would need to reject her is her father, and I simply wouldn't do that. She's still my baby, and my child.
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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 9:04 pm    Post subject:

Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Everything is fitting into my car quite nicely. Now I'm off to Goodwill to give them all my boys clothes. BTW, I still have my no.25 and no.6 Eddie Jones jerseys


Awesome! Keep the updates coming!
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DaMuleRules
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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 9:20 pm    Post subject:

LakerDYnasty72 wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Hey everyone, since I'm a total egotist, I thought you'd all like a life update. About a month ago, I showed up dressed one day in front of my dad and he didn't like it at all. I thought he might have needed a push to get used to the idea, I was very wrong. So I've decided I'm going to move in with my friend in norcal, and there I'll live full time as a woman, and eventually get a legal name and gender change. I still need to get some kind of career education, and save up for facial surgery. Anyway, that's the hideous reality of my life, look upon it ye mighty and despair!


Sorry he can't get past his own stupid biases. It's unfair to you and foolish of him (obviously). Good luck up North and I hope your dad gets his head out of his ass one day and can accept what makes you fulfilled as your true self.


Yeah, I was able to talk him out of being angry at me, but he said something kind of hurtful and I had to blow it off for the sake of keeping the peace. He said he didn't want to lose the image of his "son," he said it was like I was committing suicide. Other than that he's being supportive and helpful, so I'll take the good with the bad.


The title of this thread caught my attention because I have a 20 year old daughter, and you asked what a person would do if their child came out as trans. First, I wanted to challenge the poster who call your father's biases stupid.

Horrible word to use. His biases are a reflection of his upbringing and his experiences. It doesn't make them stupid, it simply makes them his, just as you have yours, I have mine, and we all have them. Does that make them stupid? No it makes them simply a matter of different opinions, each deserving of respect and acceptance, which is the difficult part.

If my daughter was to tell me she's trans, or whatever, I'm with the poster who expressed how deep I've found this unknown level of love to be since she was born. I might not agree with it, but I'd accept it because (1) its out of my control and (2) the world is cruel enough, the last person she would need to reject her is her father, and I simply wouldn't do that. She's still my baby, and my child.


I'm standing by "stupid".

Just because ones biases derive from their upbringing or "experiences" doesn't mean their biases have merit.

Im standing by "stupid" for the very reasons you state in your last paragraph. If one is foolish enough to dissolve or endanger a relationship with their own child over sexual orientation or gender identification, one is completely stupid. And the acceptance we should afford our kids is the same we should extend to everyone else. So yeah, such biases are stupid. Nothing constructive comes from them, and certainly not to the extent that they offset the destructive nature of them.
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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 9:24 pm    Post subject:

DaMuleRules wrote:
LakerDYnasty72 wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
DaMuleRules wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Hey everyone, since I'm a total egotist, I thought you'd all like a life update. About a month ago, I showed up dressed one day in front of my dad and he didn't like it at all. I thought he might have needed a push to get used to the idea, I was very wrong. So I've decided I'm going to move in with my friend in norcal, and there I'll live full time as a woman, and eventually get a legal name and gender change. I still need to get some kind of career education, and save up for facial surgery. Anyway, that's the hideous reality of my life, look upon it ye mighty and despair!


Sorry he can't get past his own stupid biases. It's unfair to you and foolish of him (obviously). Good luck up North and I hope your dad gets his head out of his ass one day and can accept what makes you fulfilled as your true self.


Yeah, I was able to talk him out of being angry at me, but he said something kind of hurtful and I had to blow it off for the sake of keeping the peace. He said he didn't want to lose the image of his "son," he said it was like I was committing suicide. Other than that he's being supportive and helpful, so I'll take the good with the bad.


The title of this thread caught my attention because I have a 20 year old daughter, and you asked what a person would do if their child came out as trans. First, I wanted to challenge the poster who call your father's biases stupid.

Horrible word to use. His biases are a reflection of his upbringing and his experiences. It doesn't make them stupid, it simply makes them his, just as you have yours, I have mine, and we all have them. Does that make them stupid? No it makes them simply a matter of different opinions, each deserving of respect and acceptance, which is the difficult part.

If my daughter was to tell me she's trans, or whatever, I'm with the poster who expressed how deep I've found this unknown level of love to be since she was born. I might not agree with it, but I'd accept it because (1) its out of my control and (2) the world is cruel enough, the last person she would need to reject her is her father, and I simply wouldn't do that. She's still my baby, and my child.


I'm standing by "stupid".

Just because ones biases derive from their upbringing or "experiences" doesn't mean their biases have merit.

Im standing by "stupid" for the very reasons you state in your last paragraph. If one is foolish enough to dissolve or endanger a relationship with their own child over sexual orientation or gender identification, one is completely stupid. And the acceptance we should afford our kids is the same we should extend to everyone else. So yeah, such biases are stupid. Nothing constructive comes from them, and certainly not to the extent that they offset the destructive nature of them.


Fine.
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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 11:19 pm    Post subject:

Bynum once again I wish you all the best!
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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 11:45 pm    Post subject:

DaMuleRules wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Everything is fitting into my car quite nicely. Now I'm off to Goodwill to give them all my boys clothes. BTW, I still have my no.25 and no.6 Eddie Jones jerseys


Awesome! Keep the updates coming!


Agreed. We expect updates from the Castro district on a regular basis.

Seriously, best of luck to you. You're going to possibly the most progressive place in the world. Have faith in yourself. As other posters have suggested, just do you. Do what makes you happy, and try to remove negativity wherever possible in your life. And if you do encounter negative comments, don't let it get you down. Don't let another person's ignorance get you down. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter what they think.

Love yourself, surround yourself with those who make you feel good, and f*@k the haters.
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PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 10:34 am    Post subject:

Wow somehow I missed this thread and what fantastic insights into a world I know very little about. I honestly want to thank the posters here and say I feel like a better person from reading this thread. I mean that in the most honest way possible. thank you
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Fan0Bynum17
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PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 2:11 pm    Post subject:

Hey everyone! So the move went super well, and I'm having a great time settling in.
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jonnybravo
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PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 8:14 pm    Post subject:

Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Hey everyone! So the move went super well, and I'm having a great time settling in.



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PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 10:33 pm    Post subject:

Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Hey everyone! So the move went super well, and I'm having a great time settling in.


Excellent!
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Some of my favorites for #28:
Bolden
Leaf
Ojeleye
DJ Wilson
Adebayo
Bell
HART
KUZMA

Well, we got two of 'em at 27 and 30, not bad!
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PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 10:59 pm    Post subject:

Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Hey everyone! So the move went super well, and I'm having a great time settling in.


Excellent. Now go do something girly in public. Revel in it while it is still new.
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PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 11:24 pm    Post subject:

Omar Little wrote:
Fan0Bynum17 wrote:
Hey everyone! So the move went super well, and I'm having a great time settling in.


Excellent. Now go do something girly in public. Revel in it while it is still new.


This!

Enjoy yourself, especially your new and ultimate self.
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