Official Bathroom Thread
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lakerjoshua
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 1:11 pm    Post subject: Official Bathroom Thread

On second thought, I'll wait until I get home....

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/01/11/(bleep)-at-work_n_14106174.html


Last edited by lakerjoshua on Thu Aug 24, 2017 4:34 pm; edited 1 time in total
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pmacla
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 2:07 pm    Post subject:

make them adhere to the time limit

https://www.funnyordie.com/videos/33f6fde258/toys-r-me-with-lance-reddick
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 3:02 pm    Post subject:

This should be the official bathroom thread.

I found a lovely restroom in Vegas last weekend. Most of the mid-strip resorts built after 1995 have squeaky clean public stalls on their casino floors and--MOST important thing (said in Hyman Roth's voice)--total confidentiality.

This new one is a bit of a walk but it's worth it if you're in the area. If you've stayed at Planet Hollywood you know that there is a quarter mile walk between the parking garage and the guest elevators. Along this walk you'll find the entrance to the Elara timeshare apartment tower (formerly the PH tower). The drop in noise level once you step behind these glass doors is dramatic, almost frighteningly so. Once in, walk a few hundred feet to your left. Admire the pool you can't get to today and never will. Near the guest elevators for this place there is a guard kiosk where your room key is scanned, granting you access. A few feet behind the kiosk is that excelsior of quiet and peace in any public setting, the single toilet "family" restroom. This one is (bleep) beautiful, boys! It really looks like nobody has ever used it! No wear on the tile, no microscratches on the seat, zero drip residue on the floor beneath the jiggle zone. A grade D diamond. Partake, friends. Find solace here and remember me while you creak out a heater.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 3:27 pm    Post subject:

Japanese toilet seats... y'all need this
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jodeke
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 3:53 pm    Post subject:

NSFW, voyeurs may be lurking.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 3:59 pm    Post subject:

Any people wonder why some people are germaphobes.
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lakerjoshua
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 4:45 pm    Post subject:

Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
This should be the official bathroom thread.

I found a lovely restroom in Vegas last weekend. Most of the mid-strip resorts built after 1995 have squeaky clean public stalls on their casino floors and--MOST important thing (said in Hyman Roth's voice)--total confidentiality.

This new one is a bit of a walk but it's worth it if you're in the area. If you've stayed at Planet Hollywood you know that there is a quarter mile walk between the parking garage and the guest elevators. Along this walk you'll find the entrance to the Elara timeshare apartment tower (formerly the PH tower). The drop in noise level once you step behind these glass doors is dramatic, almost frighteningly so. Once in, walk a few hundred feet to your left. Admire the pool you can't get to today and never will. Near the guest elevators for this place there is a guard kiosk where your room key is scanned, granting you access. A few feet behind the kiosk is that excelsior of quiet and peace in any public setting, the single toilet "family" restroom. This one is (bleep) beautiful, boys! It really looks like nobody has ever used it! No wear on the tile, no microscratches on the seat, zero drip residue on the floor beneath the jiggle zone. A grade D diamond. Partake, friends. Find solace here and remember me while you creak out a heater.


Fixed

And honestly, why would you defile such a pristine public toilet? There's a private bathroom in every Starbucks and Bart Station. Albeit you may leave with an STD.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 5:44 pm    Post subject:

lakerjoshua wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
This should be the official bathroom thread.

I found a lovely restroom in Vegas last weekend. Most of the mid-strip resorts built after 1995 have squeaky clean public stalls on their casino floors and--MOST important thing (said in Hyman Roth's voice)--total confidentiality.

This new one is a bit of a walk but it's worth it if you're in the area. If you've stayed at Planet Hollywood you know that there is a quarter mile walk between the parking garage and the guest elevators. Along this walk you'll find the entrance to the Elara timeshare apartment tower (formerly the PH tower). The drop in noise level once you step behind these glass doors is dramatic, almost frighteningly so. Once in, walk a few hundred feet to your left. Admire the pool you can't get to today and never will. Near the guest elevators for this place there is a guard kiosk where your room key is scanned, granting you access. A few feet behind the kiosk is that excelsior of quiet and peace in any public setting, the single toilet "family" restroom. This one is (bleep) beautiful, boys! It really looks like nobody has ever used it! No wear on the tile, no microscratches on the seat, zero drip residue on the floor beneath the jiggle zone. A grade D diamond. Partake, friends. Find solace here and remember me while you creak out a heater.


Fixed

And honestly, why would you defile such a pristine public toilet? There's a private bathroom in every Starbucks and Bart Station. Albeit you may leave with an STD.


I enter with an STD.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 5:50 pm    Post subject:

Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
lakerjoshua wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
This should be the official bathroom thread.

I found a lovely restroom in Vegas last weekend. Most of the mid-strip resorts built after 1995 have squeaky clean public stalls on their casino floors and--MOST important thing (said in Hyman Roth's voice)--total confidentiality.

This new one is a bit of a walk but it's worth it if you're in the area. If you've stayed at Planet Hollywood you know that there is a quarter mile walk between the parking garage and the guest elevators. Along this walk you'll find the entrance to the Elara timeshare apartment tower (formerly the PH tower). The drop in noise level once you step behind these glass doors is dramatic, almost frighteningly so. Once in, walk a few hundred feet to your left. Admire the pool you can't get to today and never will. Near the guest elevators for this place there is a guard kiosk where your room key is scanned, granting you access. A few feet behind the kiosk is that excelsior of quiet and peace in any public setting, the single toilet "family" restroom. This one is (bleep) beautiful, boys! It really looks like nobody has ever used it! No wear on the tile, no microscratches on the seat, zero drip residue on the floor beneath the jiggle zone. A grade D diamond. Partake, friends. Find solace here and remember me while you creak out a heater.


Fixed

And honestly, why would you defile such a pristine public toilet? There's a private bathroom in every Starbucks and Bart Station. Albeit you may leave with an STD.


I enter with an STD.


>avoids CMB's perfect bathroom at all cost
>pees on the strip
>gets tossed in jail
>gets pleasures from homeless person in drunk tank
> comes home STD free with minimal fine and life experience
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Huey Lewis & The News
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 5:51 pm    Post subject:

lakerjoshua wrote:
[
> comes home STD free


10/10 fantasy
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lakerjoshua
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 6:25 pm    Post subject:

Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
lakerjoshua wrote:
[
> comes home STD free


10/10 fantasy


Crabs are not an STD, it's body lice.
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vanexelent
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 9:20 pm    Post subject:

How come they still haven't figured out a urinal that is splash proof? Or am I just aiming wrong?
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 9:25 pm    Post subject:

vanexelent wrote:
How come they still haven't figured out a urinal that is splash proof? Or am I just aiming wrong?


A trashcan filled with paper towels an entire package of seat covers (stratified and semi crumpled) is very splash proof. Deeper the can, the better.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 9:46 pm    Post subject:

Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
How come they still haven't figured out a urinal that is splash proof? Or am I just aiming wrong?


A trashcan filled with paper towels is pretty splash proof.


But what if it's a Simplehuman trash can, where I have to step on the peddle while I'm draining the lizard?
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 9:50 pm    Post subject:

vanexelent wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
How come they still haven't figured out a urinal that is splash proof? Or am I just aiming wrong?


A trashcan filled with paper towels is pretty splash proof.


But what if it's a Simplehuman trash can, where I have to step on the peddle while I'm draining the lizard?


Then you are at a rich person's house. No public restroom to my knowledge would waste money on those, they'd get stolen or damaged. In a restroom with a simplehuman trashcan there is most likely a large bowl kohler toilet.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 9:59 pm    Post subject:

Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
How come they still haven't figured out a urinal that is splash proof? Or am I just aiming wrong?


A trashcan filled with paper towels is pretty splash proof.


But what if it's a Simplehuman trash can, where I have to step on the peddle while I'm draining the lizard?


Then you are at a rich person's house. No public restroom to my knowledge would waste money on those, they'd get stolen or damaged. In a restroom with a simplehuman trashcan there is most likely a large bowl kohler toilet.


And dont get me started on airport toilets. I put the seat cover down, pull my pants down and turnaround to sit and the damn motion sensor reacts and flushes the seat cover. I'm not going through that ordeal again, I'll bare cheek it.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 10:01 pm    Post subject:

vanexelent wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
How come they still haven't figured out a urinal that is splash proof? Or am I just aiming wrong?


A trashcan filled with paper towels is pretty splash proof.


But what if it's a Simplehuman trash can, where I have to step on the peddle while I'm draining the lizard?


Then you are at a rich person's house. No public restroom to my knowledge would waste money on those, they'd get stolen or damaged. In a restroom with a simplehuman trashcan there is most likely a large bowl kohler toilet.


And dont get me started on airport toilets. I put the seat cover down, pull my pants down and turnaround to sit and the damn motion sensor reacts and flushes the seat cover. I'm not going through that ordeal again, I'll bare cheek it.


Any toilet in the wild without the kick lever does not deserve your patronage.
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vanexelent
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 10:09 pm    Post subject:

Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
How come they still haven't figured out a urinal that is splash proof? Or am I just aiming wrong?


A trashcan filled with paper towels is pretty splash proof.


But what if it's a Simplehuman trash can, where I have to step on the peddle while I'm draining the lizard?


Then you are at a rich person's house. No public restroom to my knowledge would waste money on those, they'd get stolen or damaged. In a restroom with a simplehuman trashcan there is most likely a large bowl kohler toilet.


And dont get me started on airport toilets. I put the seat cover down, pull my pants down and turnaround to sit and the damn motion sensor reacts and flushes the seat cover. I'm not going through that ordeal again, I'll bare cheek it.


Any toilet in the wild without the kick lever does not deserve your patronage.



And then I'm in the airplane and the bathroom is shaped like a "D". All of a sudden I'm Bruce Brown, hanging 10 to take a leak.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 10:23 pm    Post subject:

vanexelent wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
How come they still haven't figured out a urinal that is splash proof? Or am I just aiming wrong?


A trashcan filled with paper towels is pretty splash proof.


But what if it's a Simplehuman trash can, where I have to step on the peddle while I'm draining the lizard?


Then you are at a rich person's house. No public restroom to my knowledge would waste money on those, they'd get stolen or damaged. In a restroom with a simplehuman trashcan there is most likely a large bowl kohler toilet.


And dont get me started on airport toilets. I put the seat cover down, pull my pants down and turnaround to sit and the damn motion sensor reacts and flushes the seat cover. I'm not going through that ordeal again, I'll bare cheek it.


Any toilet in the wild without the kick lever does not deserve your patronage.



And then I'm in the airplane and the bathroom is shaped like a "D". All of a sudden I'm Bruce Brown, hanging 10 to take a leak.


fssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssVOOOOOOOOOOOOSH.wav
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 5:21 am    Post subject:

vanexelent wrote:
How come they still haven't figured out a urinal that is splash proof? Or am I just aiming wrong?


I've seen those low flush urinals with the little bee logo that you're supposed to be on and that's the splashproof zone. Haha.

Or you might just need a pressure regulator on that hose my friend. Haha.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:41 am    Post subject:

ringfinger wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
How come they still haven't figured out a urinal that is splash proof? Or am I just aiming wrong?


I've seen those low flush urinals with the little bee logo that you're supposed to be on and that's the splashproof zone. Haha.

Or you might just need a pressure regulator on that hose my friend. Haha.


They should just make a urinal that has air vents inside the urinal rim to blow
air and deflect any splash back.

Just a thought.

I'm gonna make this and be rich.

Bye.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:49 am    Post subject:

gumby wrote:


They should just make a urinal that has air vents inside the urinal rim to blow
air and deflect any splash back.

Just a thought.

I'm gonna make this and be rich.

Bye.


Sounds like a recipe for yellow mist and "urine clogged air filter" work orders.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 9:27 am    Post subject:

Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
How come they still haven't figured out a urinal that is splash proof? Or am I just aiming wrong?


A trashcan filled with paper towels is pretty splash proof.


But what if it's a Simplehuman trash can, where I have to step on the peddle while I'm draining the lizard?


Then you are at a rich person's house. No public restroom to my knowledge would waste money on those, they'd get stolen or damaged. In a restroom with a simplehuman trashcan there is most likely a large bowl kohler toilet.


And dont get me started on airport toilets. I put the seat cover down, pull my pants down and turnaround to sit and the damn motion sensor reacts and flushes the seat cover. I'm not going through that ordeal again, I'll bare cheek it.


Any toilet in the wild without the kick lever does not deserve your patronage.


Any toilet has a kick lever if you maintain proper limberness.
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vanexelent
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 9:30 am    Post subject:

Roon wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
Huey Lewis & The News wrote:
vanexelent wrote:
How come they still haven't figured out a urinal that is splash proof? Or am I just aiming wrong?


A trashcan filled with paper towels is pretty splash proof.


But what if it's a Simplehuman trash can, where I have to step on the peddle while I'm draining the lizard?


Then you are at a rich person's house. No public restroom to my knowledge would waste money on those, they'd get stolen or damaged. In a restroom with a simplehuman trashcan there is most likely a large bowl kohler toilet.


And dont get me started on airport toilets. I put the seat cover down, pull my pants down and turnaround to sit and the damn motion sensor reacts and flushes the seat cover. I'm not going through that ordeal again, I'll bare cheek it.


Any toilet in the wild without the kick lever does not deserve your patronage.


Any toilet has a kick lever if you maintain proper limberness.


But how does this help with the motion sensor erroneously going off?
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lakeshow03
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 10:29 am    Post subject:

The Starbucks among other places have started making gender neutral bathrooms, instead of the traditional men and women. Social progress is all fine and good until you have to worry about dropping a that guy and have some cutie waiting in line behind you to walk into the smelly shame you just left behind.
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