A man walks into a bar in Alaska and ask the bartender what does it take to be a real Alaskan man.
The bartender says 1st you have to take 15 shots, 2nd you have to make love to a real Alaskan woman and 3rd you have to wrestle a polar bear.
The man takes his 15 shots and then leaves the bar. A few hours later he comes back all bloodied and clothes torn and says ok so where's that woman I had to wrestle?
I think you botched that joke.
How?
JESUS CHRIST! NEVERMIND,
volt!
I don't think he messed up the joke...
ohh boy...
right? volt worthy. _________________ Thank you, Kobe. We love you.
Joined: 02 Sep 2005 Posts: 13197 Location: @ the beach
Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 2:33 pm Post subject:
An older divorcee decides it's been too long and wants to go out and meet somebody new. So she goes to the local bar and meets an older gentlemen around the same age. They hit it off well and are laughing and carrying on for hours and before they know it, the bar is just about to close. They don't want the night to end, so the man invites her over to his place, to which she agreed.
Well they get to his house and they start hugging and kissing, and carrying on like they used to when they were youngsters. They almost have all of their clothes off when all of a sudden she stops him.
She's says: before we go any farther I must tell you... I have acute angina.
he then replies: well that's great to know... because your boobs ain't nothing to look at. _________________ ♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫
Joined: 02 Sep 2005 Posts: 13197 Location: @ the beach
Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 10:20 pm Post subject:
Why don't the Clippers have their own website?
cuz they can't seem to string 3 W's together.
(Ok maybe a little awkward today but that'll be funny in a week!) _________________ ♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫
Why don't the Clippers have their own website?
cuz they can't seem to string 3 W's together.
(Ok maybe a little awkward today but that'll be funny in a week!)
Why don't the Clippers have their own website?
cuz they can't seem to string 3 W's together.
(Ok maybe a little awkward today but that'll be funny in a week!)
hey, original!
I approve man unique, clever, maybe not the best, but me likey
Joined: 02 Sep 2005 Posts: 13197 Location: @ the beach
Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 2:58 pm Post subject:
What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can both smell it but they can't eat it.
What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom?
A pick pocket snatches watches. _________________ ♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫
Joined: 17 Nov 2007 Posts: 67716 Location: In a world where admitting to not knowing something is considered a great way to learn.
Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 7:53 pm Post subject:
Little Johnny came down for breakfast.
His mother told him he had to feed the animals before breakfast.
Angry Johnny went to the barn yard to feed the animals.
Before he fed the pig he kicked it.
Before he fed the chicken he kicked it.
Before he fed the cow he kicked her.
He went in for breakfast and on the table he saw a dry bowl of cornflakes.
Looking at his mother he asked, where is the bacon, eggs and milk.
His mother replied I saw you kick the pig so no bacon.
I saw you kick the chicken so no eggs.
I saw you kick the cow so no milk.
Just then farmer John came down for his breakfast.
The cat was on the stairs so he kicked it off.
Little Johnny looked at his mother smiling and asked, You gonna tell him or you want me to. _________________ Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
Joined: 02 Sep 2005 Posts: 13197 Location: @ the beach
Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 8:14 pm Post subject:
If I buy a teddy bear for $5, name it Mohammed and then sell it for $10...
--have I made a prophet? _________________ ♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫
Last edited by Free_Kobe on Thu Apr 07, 2011 8:39 pm; edited 2 times in total
I read about this child custody case a couple years ago.
The judge said to the boy: "Do you want to go with your mother?"
The boy replied: "No." and the judge said "Why?"
"Because she beats me."
Then judge said "Then how about your father?"
The boy said, "No, he also beats me."
The judge replied "If you don't want to go neither of your parents, then who you do want to go with?"
The boy answered " I wanna go with the Sacramento Kings because they don't beat nobody!" _________________ (❍ᴥ❍ʋ) ʕʘᴥʘʔ (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) (┛◉Д◉)┛( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ༼;´༎ຶ ༎ຶ༽
Joined: 09 Dec 2009 Posts: 4330 Location: Meeting the man who met Andy Griffith.
Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 2:48 am Post subject:
What do you feed a gay horse?
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy! _________________ "The best there is. The best there was. The best there ever will be.", said Bret Hart regarding the Los Angeles Lakers.
Joined: 02 Sep 2005 Posts: 13197 Location: @ the beach
Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 11:56 am Post subject:
What do you call a lion wearing a stylish hat? A dandy lion! (I'm here all day) _________________ ♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫
A man walks into a bar in Alaska and ask the bartender what does it take to be a real Alaskan man.
The bartender says 1st you have to take 15 shots, 2nd you have to make love to a real Alaskan woman and 3rd you have to wrestle a polar bear.
The man takes his 15 shots and then leaves the bar. A few hours later he comes back all bloodied and clothes torn and says ok so where's that woman I had to wrestle?
Joined: 02 Sep 2005 Posts: 13197 Location: @ the beach
Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 9:14 am Post subject:
If a robin makes red babies and a bluebird makes blue babies, what kind of bird makes no babies? A swallow. _________________ ♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫
Joined: 02 Sep 2005 Posts: 13197 Location: @ the beach
Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 10:48 am Post subject:
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
-Mega-sore-ass _________________ ♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫
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unique, clever, maybe not the best, but me likey
