Funniest/Best Pick-Up Lines
Goto page 1, 2  Next
 
Post new topic    LakersGround.net Forum Index -> The Best Of... Reply to topic
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Free_Kobe
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 13197
Location: @ the beach

PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:43 pm    Post subject: Funniest/Best Pick-Up Lines

These the funniest ones i've heard...

-excuse me, does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?

-If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?

-Do you live on a chicken farm? cuz you sure know how to raise cocks.

-That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
_________________
♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
9-0-9
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 04 Jul 2009
Posts: 1578
Location: Born in Redlands,California but Reside in Houston,TX

PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:54 pm    Post subject:

I used this one and got slapped, so I don't know if its any good.


"Damn baby, you look so good I would suck a fart outta yo butt."


if she laughs, maybe you'll get some, if she gives you a wierd look, expect to duck any second.
_________________
http://i383.photobucket.com/albums/oo278/InnocenceIsKey/3628030654_e9f0a77689_o.jpg
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger Reply with quote
Omar Little
Moderator
Moderator


Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 90299
Location: Formerly Known As 24

PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:11 pm    Post subject:

"Did you use Windex on your pants, 'cause I can see myself in them"

"If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?"
_________________
“We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” ― Elie Wiesel
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
BallforLife
Starting Rotation
Starting Rotation


Joined: 19 Jul 2009
Posts: 371

PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:41 pm    Post subject:

you're sexy like a chocolate strawberry... does that count?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Omar Little
Moderator
Moderator


Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 90299
Location: Formerly Known As 24

PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 2:09 pm    Post subject:

BallforLife wrote:
you're sexy like a chocolate strawberry... does that count?


No, but thank you, I think...
_________________
“We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” ― Elie Wiesel
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
BallforLife
Starting Rotation
Starting Rotation


Joined: 19 Jul 2009
Posts: 371

PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 3:07 pm    Post subject:

BallforLife is not a reference to my sexual preference... so don't be too happy.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
ocho
Retired Number
Retired Number


Joined: 24 May 2005
Posts: 53713

PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 4:44 pm    Post subject:

Are you from Tennessee?

Cuz you're the only ten I see.
_________________
14-5-3-12
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Omar Little
Moderator
Moderator


Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 90299
Location: Formerly Known As 24

PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:14 pm    Post subject:

ocho wrote:
Are you from Tennessee?

Cuz you're the only ten I see.


This one makes no sense. If you were hitting on a girl from or in Tennessee, she'd have to be your sister, and she'd already know that you know she's from Tennessee.
_________________
“We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” ― Elie Wiesel
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Canadian Laker
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 07 Feb 2005
Posts: 2704
Location: Toronto, Canada

PostPosted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 4:05 pm    Post subject:

I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can make your bed rock!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
doughboy90650
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 15294
Location: Southern California

PostPosted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 4:41 pm    Post subject:

Come here, B***h ~ Fillmore Slim
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
methdxman
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 31 Jan 2002
Posts: 6879
Location: Los Angeles/Barcelona

PostPosted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 3:29 pm    Post subject: Re: Funniest/Best Pick-Up Lines

Free_Kobe wrote:
These the funniest ones i've heard...

-excuse me, does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?

-If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?

-Do you live on a chicken farm? cuz you sure know how to raise cocks.

-That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.


These are quite good.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address MSN Messenger Reply with quote
Half Baked Hero
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 05 May 2009
Posts: 3691

PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 1:08 am    Post subject:

Wanna go halves on a baby?


It really doesn't work well.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
frijolero01
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 10 May 2005
Posts: 13324

PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:55 am    Post subject:

wanna (bleep)?
_________________
Thank you, Kobe. We love you.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Omar Little
Moderator
Moderator


Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 90299
Location: Formerly Known As 24

PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 3:48 pm    Post subject:

I really like your hot friend, but she shot me down, so you'll have to do. Who knows, it might make her jealous...
_________________
“We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” ― Elie Wiesel
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
JerryMagicKobe
Moderator
Moderator


Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Posts: 15100

PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:07 pm    Post subject:

Walk up, hand her a beer and say "Drink this until I'm cute".

In my case it seems to lead to a lot of drinking.


Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
TACH
Retired Number
Retired Number


Joined: 03 Nov 2005
Posts: 28461
Location: Chillin on the Delaware.. from the Jersey Side

PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 6:15 am    Post subject:

Feel my jacket... is that boyfriend material?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Reply with quote
hand down man down
Rookie
Rookie


Joined: 27 Jul 2009
Posts: 18

PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:07 am    Post subject:

JerryMagicKobe wrote:
Walk up, hand her a beer and say "Drink this until I'm cute".

In my case it seems to lead to a lot of drinking.




I've been casually making a play on one of my best friend's gf's best friends and I think I'm gonna try this one in Vegas this weekend.

Wish me luc...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Omar Little
Moderator
Moderator


Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 90299
Location: Formerly Known As 24

PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:10 am    Post subject:

hand down man down wrote:
JerryMagicKobe wrote:
Walk up, hand her a beer and say "Drink this until I'm cute".

In my case it seems to lead to a lot of drinking.




I've been casually making a play on one of my best friend's gf's best friends and I think I'm gonna try this one in Vegas this weekend.

Wish me luc...


Jean Luc Picard, or Luc Besson?
_________________
“We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” ― Elie Wiesel
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
hand down man down
Rookie
Rookie


Joined: 27 Jul 2009
Posts: 18

PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:30 am    Post subject:

24 wrote:
hand down man down wrote:
JerryMagicKobe wrote:
Walk up, hand her a beer and say "Drink this until I'm cute".

In my case it seems to lead to a lot of drinking.




I've been casually making a play on one of my best friend's gf's best friends and I think I'm gonna try this one in Vegas this weekend.

Wish me luc...


Jean Luc Picard, or Luc Besson?


Didn't even notice that typo
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
PushingtheLimit
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 3814
Location: Earth

PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 12:03 am    Post subject:

"What are the chances you and I can have a meaningful conversation?"

Sometimes works sometimes doesn't. When it does work it goes straight to the point and you skip all the fluff.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Reply with quote
Free_Kobe
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 13197
Location: @ the beach

PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 8:06 am    Post subject:

24 wrote:
"Did you use Windex on your pants, 'cause I can see myself in them"

"If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?"

Emiiiiiiiiiiiilllliooooooo!!!


oops wrong one...
You know what i heard??? BEEEEEEEOUUUUUUU BEEEEEEEOUUUUUUU BEEEEEEOUUUUUUUU ...its an ambulance coming to take me away becuz the sight of you stopped my heart!
_________________
♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Jam'nkee
Sixth Man
Sixth Man


Joined: 09 Feb 2010
Posts: 36

PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 8:59 am    Post subject:

the word is legs, let's go to my place and spread the word

ima treat you like my homework, i'll slam you on the table and do you all night long
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
msb212
Star Player
Star Player


Joined: 12 Jan 2005
Posts: 9251
Location: Courtside

PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:54 pm    Post subject:

My classic (now retired) has been used to great success over the years:

(Note that this is not recommended as the opening gambit, but better used a bit later once conversation has been established)

To the TWO girls you are with:

"I think the three of us make a lovely couple..."


Trust me on this. it works
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
unleasHell
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 16 Apr 2001
Posts: 11591
Location: Stay Thirsty my Friends

PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 4:50 pm    Post subject:

Not really opening lines, but also to be worked later;

I like my women like I like my coffee: Hot and Black?

I like my women like I like my eggs: Over Easy and Sunny side Up!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
mike_dee23
Franchise Player
Franchise Player


Joined: 03 Feb 2005
Posts: 11703

PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 5:15 pm    Post subject:

Did you hear that thump? Well, my c##k just hit the floor.
_________________
MTFBWYA
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address Reply with quote
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic    LakersGround.net Forum Index -> The Best Of... All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Goto page 1, 2  Next
Page 1 of 2
Jump to:  

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum






Graphics by uberzev
© 1995-2018 LakersGround.net. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy. Terms of Use.
LakersGround is an unofficial news source serving the fan community since 1995.
We are in no way associated with the Los Angeles Lakers or the National Basketball Association.


Powered by phpBB